Skip to content

Conrad Murray, THE MAN WHO KILLED MICHAEL JACKSON. Part 4. The Shock of Versed

December 17, 2013

This post took longer than I expected though all it was supposed to do was provide the impressions of patients who were subjected to the administration of Versed [Midazolam] on just one occasion during surgery or some unpleasant diagnostic procedure.

These accounts are important because for the two months of his “treatment” of Michael Jackson Conrad Murray chose to give him Versed not just once, but on a regular basis. In the last three days he said (to the police) that he even increased the dosage of Versed as he was planning to use it and Lorazepam to “wean off” Michael of Propofol.

Prior to those last days Michael was given the same two drugs, only in lesser amounts.

Michael fought them, was reluctant to take them as they did not work and were giving him a hangover (according to Murray), but Murray insisted and Michael complied.

The problem I am facing now is not how to convince you of the adverse effects of Versed – this will become clear to you even from the first accounts of the Versed sufferers. The problem is in deciding whether Murray wanted to do Michael intentional harm or whether he gave him the drug not knowing of its adverse effects. 

The conclusion I’m more or less coming to now is that as usual Murray was most probably unaware of what he was doing – except that Michael complained to him about Versed and Lorazepam but Murray totally disregarded it thinking that Michael had a dependence on Propofol and would say anything in his desire to get his “milk”.

The reason why I think that Murray was simply his usual ignorant self is because he openly spoke to the police about using Versed and on a regular basis too. If he had known how nasty the drug is he would probably have refrained from trumpeting about it. About Propofol he did know and kept silence, so the same rule must be applying here too.

The second reason why I think he doesn’t know a thing about Versed is that even professional anesthetists are clueless as to the adverse effects of this drug – so if they don’t know it how can we expect anything different from Conrad Murray?


Versed gets an unusually high number of complaints (more than 1000 extremely negative reports are found on the Ask-a-patient and Versed busters websites) and this in spite of the fact that those patients were given Versed on just one or probably two occasions.

Though the drug is extremely addictive and produces awful withdrawal symptoms medical sites provide scarce information about it. This is probably because Versed is never administered on a regular basis and mostly comes in the injection form which is provided in hospital setting only and on the rare occasions when people undergo surgery or some unpleasant diagnostic procedures.

Medical sites don’t even list this drug as an addictive one though its withdrawal symptoms are much more severe than Propofol (which practically has none) or Lorazepam (which forms an addiction very quickly).

Since Versed is administered only occasionally and is regarded as a simple “benzo” few medical care providers trace its long-term effects. If they did they would know that its adverse effects are severe, can last for years and include memory loss, tremor, shaking as if from freezing, unusual fatigue and lethargy, insomnia, loss of coordination, vertigo and many other things that reminded me of the symptoms Michael was increasingly displaying during the two months while he was under Murray’s “care”.

Now everyone shifts all the blame to Propofol, but Propofol is not known to produce any of the above symptoms and Dr. Shafer testified that trembling and freezing which were dogging Michael for weeks prior to his death are absolutely untypical for Propofol:

Question:  During his conversation with Nurse Cherilyn Lee in April 2009, Lee explained these side effects to MJ. On June 19 and 20 when Michael was sick at the rehearsals, he called Cherilyn Lee. He asked her why half of his body was cold and the other half was warm. He wondered what was happening to him.

Dr. Shafer:  That wouldn’t be a side effect of propofol. I don’t know what makes half your body warm, and half cold, but propofol doesn’t do that. It could be that he simply had a virus. There are some symptoms of withdrawal from sedatives. Withdrawal from propofol has not been described, and perhaps some odd problem with temperature regulation is part of propofol withdrawal. That is speculation on my part, because only Michael Jackson received propofol every night for 2 months. However, we certainly see issues with temperature regulation during withdrawal from opioids.

“Side effects” of propofol are things like low blood pressure and decreased breathing. Patients are usually asleep, and thus blissfully ignorant of these side effects. You can be confident that his blood pressure and breathing both decreased when he got propofol previously, because that happens with everybody. Propofol has very few “side effects” that are unpleasant to the awake patient. There is some drowsiness after awakening up from propofol, but that is expected. Other than that, there isn’t much in the way of side effects that the awake patient will experience.

People like Ortega and the AEG bosses tended to explain those strange Michael’s symptoms by the Demerol withdrawal and even Dr. Shafer mentioned it as a possibility. The other possibility was that it could be a withdrawal from sedatives (like Versed).

Murray’s police interview has several exceptionally interesting episodes which say that “the production team” was in constant interaction with Murray complaining to him about Demerol and Michael’s visits to Klein. By the way this alone shows that Frank Dileo, Ortega and the AEG people were constantly interfering with the medical “care” Murray was providing to Michael. 

In fact Murray even discloses to us that due to Michael’s very poor eye-sight (Oh, my God – he had that too) Murray arranged a consultation with an eye specialist and the production team agreed that it should be done which makes us realize that Michael’s doctor was even seeking consent of the producers on what he could and could not do.

How is it possible to talk of any Murray’s independence in these circumstances?

Dr.  Murray: I was not aware of any other medications that he was taking, but I heard that he was seeing a Dr.  Klein three times a week in Beverly Hills. And he never disclosed that to me.

Mr.   Chernoff: You heard from who?

Dr.  Murray: His staff, like Frank Dileo, Kenny Ortega. They would be aware, working on his production team, that he was seeing him three times a week.

His production team had — had said to me recently that his worst days on the set is when he had gone to Dr. Klein’s  office, which  is about three times a week; and when he came back, he was  basically wasted and required at least 24 hours for recovery.

Dr. Murray: His eyesight was very, very bad. So I did figure out he could be legally blind. His eyes was also very red.I encouraged him to have the eye examination. That examination was hopefully scheduled for last Monday [June 22th].

Detective Martinez: So he had agreed to it?

Dr.  Murray: He agreed to do it. But it never happened. I still have e-mail from the doctor asking me to call and reschedule it. And one thing or the other, it led to that being put off. But his team, his production team, agreed that, you know, it’s something that he should have done. So I was trying to find out issues with Mr. Jackson and trying to address them in a gradual way overall to help him. And that was one of the things I discovered. So that medication is a surprise.

Detective martinez: Did you ever – did you ever give him Demerol?

Dr.  Murray: No.

Detective martinez: Okay.

Detective smith: We didn’t find any.

Detective martinez: Yeah, we didn’t find any. I don’t know how that came up.

The policemen don’t know how that came up? See the above please and the people who were arranging in the media all that hue and cry over Michael’s alleged addiction to Demerol while in reality he didn’t have any, at least in the year 2009. No Demerol was found in his home and no trace of it was in his body.

Demerol was not even a player at the time when Michael was trembling and obsessing on June 19th as those symptoms were displayed outside the time frame when one could expect any withdrawal from this drug.

But if Propofol and Demerol were not doing this to Michael then what could produce those strange symptoms when Michael was freezing with cold in the midst of summer?

The explanation was given by Dr. Czeisler, the expert who recently testified at the AEG trial. He said that the freezing effect was due to a huge damage to Michael’s brain done by the lack of biological sleep. Propofol does not produce biological sleep necessary for the brain to recover its functions, so the loss of body temperature resulted from the increasing brain damage brought about by prolonged sleep deprivation. A drop in the body temperature is a typical symptom displayed by sleep-deprived mice just prior to death.

Though being a very sad explanation it satisfied us for a time being, however after the shock of learning about Versed I see that it is absolutely not the only explanation possible.

Versed is a very solid alternative reason for creating exactly the same picture as it will be clear from the accounts of people who were severely damaged by this drug.

Let me remind you that the usual dose of Versed is between 4-8 ml at the most and to be given just once, while Conrad Murray ordered (in April, May and June) 60 vials of Versed altogether making 120ml and used it for Michael in the amounts we can only guess at.

On the night of June 24/25th alone Murray said he injected 4ml of it. But most of Versed sufferers received that much or even less of Versed and still feel they are crippled for life, so what could be expected of a continuous administration of a drug like that?


The information about Versed (Midazolam) knocked me off my feet altogether.

On the face of it things didn’t look that bad as almost every medical care provider said the drug is okay and is the routine part of anesthesia. Even the nurse who commented on Murray’s case on Trials and Tribulations site mentioned Versed as part of her standard procedure for general anesthesia:

  • When I induce for general anesthesia with Fentanyl, Versed, and Propofol….

The first thing I wondered about was why Versed is part of anesthesia, why they need the three of them together and why they can’t limit themselves to Propofol only?

What I’ve found is this:

  • Versed is used as a pre-operative drug that reduces anxiety before surgery and produces total amnesia of the procedure that follows,
  • Propofol sends a person into sleep but does not save from the pain
  • Fentanyl deals with the pain as it is a powerful opiate painkiller.

All three are given in case of a painful surgery according to the existing protocol, so Murray could easily think that all he needed to do was take away the painkiller as an unnecessary component and leave the other two intact. Possible? Possible.

The other common way of using Versed is the so-called “conscious sedation” when Propofol is taken out of the equation as a sleep agent, and the patient gets only Versed and Fentanyl staying awake and conscious throughout the procedure. This is how I learned that Versed is meant not only to beat a patient’s anxiety but to keep him awake too – so it is not meant for treatment of insomnia at all, though it produces some drowsiness and in some countries its milder pill form may be prescribed for this purpose (not in the US). This is when a heavy addiction to it actually forms.

And the third variant is when Versed is used simply on its own. This is when it does not help the pain (it isn’t a painkiller) and doesn’t help to sleep (it makes the patient dizzy and paralyses his will). The only goal it is used for on these occasions is producing amnesia of the procedure, so even if the patient screamed with pain for 20 minutes, he/she will remember none of it when the effect of Versed wears off.

Yes, though it does sound like a torture and though Versed does look like a drug of abuse, this is a typical situation and this makes many Versed sufferers extremely resentful of it. Here is a sample from the Versed Busters website:

  • What got me started on this subject was a few years ago my wife broke her Femur and was in the emergency room waiting to get it operated on. They asked me to wait outside the room because they wanted to set it before the operation. They gave her Versed and the screaming was horrible. I was told she would not remember and she didn’t but I do know how she suffered. I feel that when this drug is used for its amnesia effect it’s abuse. I spoke to the surgeon on a follow up visit and asked him about what had happened, his remark was she does not remember so what.
  • Apparently I screamed for 20 minutes during my endoscopy after receiving Versed for twilight sleep sedation. I agreed to twilight sedation and Versed was given for my endoscopy/colonoscopy 2 days ago. I do not remember any of the procedure which is a blessing. However when mentioning my excruciating sore throat today to my son, who was with me, he said I screamed for 20 mins during the endoscopy – everyone in the surg center including people in the waiting room could hear me. The GI doc said I had a “rare reaction” to the med. He called it a paradoxical reaction to the Versed. I will make sure I am never given Versed again.

However Michael was (hopefully) not in pain so Murray was injecting Versed with a different goal. Initially it was to enhance the effect of Propofol (it enhances it by 40%) and later on he was planning to replace Propofol with Versed and Lorazepam as sole agents to produce “sleep”.

Whether sleep with Versed alone was possible I doubt very much unless Murray was giving Michael gigantic dozes which knocked him off altogether. Generally Versed is not used for sleep though some people do get unconscious after it. Its general idea is to keep people awake as will be clear from this description from an anesthesia site:

MIDAZOLAM (Brand name VERSED).  Midazolam is a short-acting anxiety-reducing drug of the Valium or benzodiazepine class.  Midazolam is commonly injected as the first drug to begin an anesthetic, because it gives patients a sense of calm, and often gives them amnesia for a period of minutes afterward.  Midazolam is a common drug given during sedation for colonoscopy procedures, because most patients have no awareness during the procedure, even though they are usually awake.

If taken in gigantic doses it of course produces sleep – together with no less gigantic addiction to it which is comparable only to that of narcotics. Here are the accounts of the Versed sufferers in this respect:

Anonymous said about his severe insomnia case…

  • Retrograde amnesia is common with this drug, so take with caution if you get an actual prescription for it. They’re rare. I got lucky. I liked Versed a lot, but over time I got a tolerance, and refused to keep upping the dosage, and just tapered off. Again, be careful taking this drug – NEVER drive or operate heavy machinery, or do dangerous things like climbing ladders on this medication. And please DO NOT “stay up through the ‘high'” because you’ll just end up taking more, and more, then before you realize it, you’ve taken 75mg through the course of a night (speaking of recreational benzo users, not myself) . NOT worth it. Also, dependence/tolerance/addiction are a HUGE concern for this particular benzo. Traditional benzos are better for anxiety/panic attacks anyway.

Anonymous said….

  • I want to stress that the ONLY reason I posted the amounts of midazolam that I IV’ed is to emphasize how quickly tolerance can rise and just how dangerous it can be!  I was playing with my life, I certainly would not suggest that others “walk a razor between life and death” as I’m lucky I didn’t end up dead.

So this beautiful drug was administered to Michael by Murray in unknown amounts in combination with Lorazepam though none of them Michael ever wanted.

He was against benzodiazepines as a class as previously he had some problems with Xanax and Ambien (same group) and they did not help him with his insomnia anyway.


When Michael was filling in a form for Nurse Lee he encircled Ativan (Lorazepam) as a medication that was given to him like 12 years before that and he didn’t like it as it did not work. He made it clear to Nurse Lee that he’d rather stay away from it and other benzodiazepines like Ambien and Xanax from which he had moved on.

Here is an excerpt from Nurse Lee’s testimony at the AEG trial on August 28, 2013.

Ms. Cahan for AEG and Nurse Lee are discussing the 200 questions Michael had to answer before she started to give him the Myers’ cocktails of vitamins and other natural ingredients for energy and sleep. She successfully treated Michael from February to April 19th while Murray was already quietly building up his stock of Propofol and other medications.

They discuss Michael’s negative attitude towards benzodiazepines:

Nurse Lee:    “past history, past history greater than 12 years.”  

Ms. Cahan:    Okay. Does that mean that he was taking it for more than 12 years, or the last time he took it was that — 

A.    It was 12 years ago. 

Q.    And I see below that “Ambien” is circled, as well. 

A.    Yes. 

Q.    And then it says “past history” with a question mark. What does that signify, if you can recall?  

A.    He just said past history, it’s something he didn’t remember, it didn’t work for him. 

Q.    Okay. So he had taken it at some point, but not for any sustained period of time?  

A.    No. 

Q.    And did he tell you about any other prescription medications he had taken in response to this list and series of questions? 

Ms. Chang.    Well, your honor, “Ativan” is circled, also.

Ms. Cahan.    I’m sorry. I see — I see that now, on that same line as xanax. 

Q.    So did he tell you he had also taken — at some point, taken Ativan?  

A.    Yes. 

Q.    Thank you, Ms. Chang. So other than xanax, Ativan and Ambien, did Mr. Jackson disclose to you in response to these questions that he had ever taken any other prescription drugs or the other substances listed here?  

A.    No, not while we were going through the history here, no. 

Q.    Are xanax and Ativan benzodiazepines?  I see there’s a little parentheses there on the line above them being — do you see where it says “agonist modulator of gaba receptor”?  

A.    Yes, I do see that. 

Q.    Does that mean that those are examples — that those drugs are benzodiazepines?  

A.    They would be in that family because they’re under that heading. 

Q.    Okay. And when Mr. Jackson told you that he had taken xanax and Ativan more than 12 years ago, did he tell you why he had been taking them at the time, for what medical concern?  

A.    Stress.

Ms. Chang. Your honor, just misstatement of the record. I’m sure it was unintentional. But the 12 years is actually pointing to the xanax and not the Ativan.

Court.    True.

Ms. Cahan.    I’m sorry. That was my mistake. 

Q.    Did he tell you that he had taken Ativan more recently than in the past 12 years?  

A.    No. 

Q.    Okay. So when he said more than 12 years ago, was he talking about both xanax and Ativan, or Ativan, or one or the other?  

A.    He was talking about both. I know I had the arrow there, but it was under that heading, he meant both. 

Q.    And Mr. Jackson, as of February 1st, 2009, denied taking any medications other than those three at any time?  

A.    Yes. 

Q.    And Mr. Jackson didn’t tell you at that time that he had ever taken demerol or meperidine?  

A.    No.

Ms. Chang.  Well, objection, your honor. She said this form is only for the natural substitute for that, and it’s not listed on this page.

Court.    Did you ask him specifically about demerol? 

A.    Did I — no, it’s not on this form here.   

Demerol was not on the form with 200 questions answered by Michael, so it is no surprise he didn’t encircle it. But Ativan and other benzodiazepines were there and he did encircle them as the medications he was trying to avoid. This is why he was fighting Murray over them and agreed to them only with much reluctance.

We also remember that during the telephone conversation in Las Vegas on April 5, 2009 Murray was pressing on Michael Lorazepam and Restoril but Michael was refusing them. Let me remind you of that episode from the police interview already mentioned in part 2:

Dr. Murray:  I said, “Well, don’t you have any sleeping pill that I gave you in the past that you can use as needed?” Like – like Lorazepam or Restoril, which I had given to him before, pill form.

He said, “They don’t work.” I said, “Did you try them?” he said, “Yes, Dr. Conrad.  Nothing works. You know, I’ve had pills from the other doctors in Beverly Hills,  and I’ve had medicine from Dr. Klein, who says he gave me the strongest medication. And I have medicine from Dr. Metzer,  M-E-T-Z-E-R.  They all don’t work.”

Further on Murray explains to the policemen why and how two of the three benzodiazepines came into play (however he never explains why he began using Versed).

Murray says that Valium (Diazepam) came into the picture as an effort to “get him off the milk”. This is a lie as in reality it was prescribed by him on the day of the crisis meeting (June 20th) and was most probably forced on Michael to make him cope with the mounting pressures from AEG. By the time of his death on June 24/25th Michael had taken only 3 pills of Valium.

Here is an excerpt about these benzos from the police interview:

Detective Martinez: Diazepam?

Dr.   Murray: Yes. I recently prescribed that for him, very first time.

Detective Martinez: Okay.

Mr.  Chernoff:  Valium.

Dr.   Murray:  Valium, which is valium.

Detective Martinez: Right.

Dr.   Murray: And that again was one of the efforts to try to get him off the milk.

Detective Martinez: Lorazepam?

Dr.   Murray:  That’s  IV. That’s the oral form of the IV Ativan, the same thing I’ve given him.

Detective Martinez: Oral form.

Dr.  Murray: If the — if the pill does not work, because when you take a medicine by mouth, about 70 to 80  percent becomes available in the bloodstream because of absorption.

Detective Martinez:   You say it’s the oral form of —

Dr.   Murray: Of the Lorazepam. Remember that? Ativan, and it was given to him.

Detective Martinez:  Oh,   yeah, right. Ativan.

Dr.  Murray: yeah. So the fact that he — it wasn’t working orally, I was wondering whether or not to give it to him IV. He’ll have a better concentration of that, and that help him to sleep. So that’s why that came into play.

So Lorezepam by IV came into play because the pills were not working and Murray hoped that the IV injection would do the job.

As we know later in the interview Murray explained that in the last three days of Michael’s life Murray was trying to make him take only Lorezapam and Versed. This episode is extremely important and is actually the only one we have, so let’s read it carefully though we have read it a hundred times before:

Dr. Murray: I  said,   “Well,  I think we need to try lesser agents that is not as  — as  Propofol — to help you and try to see if we can wean it away.”   So I started three days before.  It was 72 hours before.  I saw him every night.  That’s when I started to use more the Lorazepam and Versed.

Detective martinez: Before that night, had he used them before, or is that was the first time that you introduced  it to him?

Dr.  Murray: No

Detective Martinez: Okay

Dr.   Murray:  I introduced it to him about three nights or so before. Now, what was the –

Mr.   Chernoff:  Well,  I  think the detective is asking before those three nights, had he ever used the Versed.

Dr.  Murray:  Yes. But not where that would be the sole agents.

Detective Martinez: okay.

Dr.  Murray:     Trying to —

Detective Martinez:     so he’d use them in combination – and lesser amounts.

Dr.  Murray:  Lesser amounts.

Detective Martinez:  And you’re trying to bring down the propofol and–­

Dr.  Murray:    And get him off.

Detective Martinez: Right. And so you gave him —

Detective Smith: — Lorazepam and —

Dr.  Murray:   And — Lorazepam and the Midazolam,which is the Versed and the Ativan. Okay?

Detective Martinez:  And he  knows  — he agreed for you to  do this.

Dr.  Murray: Reluctantly.

Detective Martinez: Okay.

Dr.  Murray:  Reluctantly.   He fought me on it,   and he  said,   “you know, I mean would it work the same way,   because I” – but that was showing me some dependency here. “Would I be able to sleep?”

I said, “Well, you know, clearly it is not as strong an agent. But if we can help you to sleep more naturally and then eventually you can be on your own, milk and cookies and all the different things that is nice and comforting before you go to bed, that would be better for you, Michael.” And he said, “Well, I really want to – but I really want to sleep.

Are you sure it’s going to make me sleep?” I said, “I cannot tell you with certainty that it will make you sleep, but I’d like you to try.”

I never identified to him that I believed at that time he may — he was showing dependency or that he may have been drug seeking, because I was trying to form a different  policy with him so he can transfer confidence from that agent to something lesser. So I gave him the Versed the third night. I gave him Versed, and I gave him Ativan, and I gave him a lower dose of the injection of the — of the Propofol milk I – at a slower dip rate.

And except for some interruptions in sleep, I was able to get him to sleep for a reasonable time. But he wanted to go all the way again till about noon, you know, very long hours of sleep, which again was not  ideal, but that’s what he wanted, because the other doctors working with him gave him 15 to 18  hours. So that was night 1. Reduce — reduce propofol, starting more Lorazepam and Versed.

Let us stop for a second and try to sort out what Murray is talking about. Night 1 was the night prior to the June 23rd rehearsal and according to Murray he reduced Propofol that night, and started more Lorazepam and Versed. At one moment Murray even discloses to us that the dip (drip?) rate of Propofol on that night was slower.

So the recipe for night No.1 was a slower drip of Propol + a little more of Lorazepam and Versed.

The quantities we don’t know but we do get a definite impression that Murray gave Michael a drip of Propofol that night.

Let us go on:

Dr. Murray: On the second night, which was the night before he died, no milk was given. I thought we were really onto something then. He got the Lorazepam and the Versed only. He seemed to have responded more physiological to that. He was not groggy when he woke up. If he got up in the middle of the night, he’d wake up very quickly. But he got some sleep.

He only told me that he felt a little bit more of a hangover during the day, but I think that that was subjective. I think that he was his telling me “I tried it your way, but I really  don’t like  it. I want Diprivan.” so I said,   “but you slept pretty well last night, Michael. And this is day number 2. So let’s continue to try the Lorazepam and the Ativan.” (sic) And I  — I started off that night to do the Lorazepam and the Ativan (sic).

Detective martinez: And that’s night number 3.

Dr.   Murray: Yes. 

The story of the second night says there were Lorazepam and Versed only and no Propofol. After that combination Michael “was not groggy when he woke up” which suggests that previously he had woken up groggy, probably even on June 23rd.

But after the second night also Michael felt “more of a hangover during the day”. This way Michael was trying to say to Murray that he didn’t like it and on June 24th he was indeed much more lethargic than before. We can be absolutely sure that Murray didn’t tell us the whole truth about the way Michael felt that day – it was not in Murray’s interests to say that the mix of sedatives hardly worked and only dumbed Michael. This is when he probably administered him ephedrine (to brace him up) the traces of which were later found in Michael’s urine.

The third night (when Michael died) Murray again started with Lorazepam (Ativan) and Midazolam (Versed). This time it did not work and was followed by a drip of Propofol again. The result of it we know.

The story about the third night is absolutely false – and not only because Murray lied about the Propofol drip he gave him that night, but because the amount of Lorazepam found in Michael’s body absolutely didn’tcorrespond to what Murray said about it – it was much higher and by some estimations was no less than 17mg. Dr. Shafer commented on it as follows:

  • He said he gave just 4 milligrams of lorazepam. We know from the blood and urine levels that he gave much more than that. We know quite a bit about what happened that night. Even without the trial Murray’s statement to the police investigators can be rejected outright.

What is really surprising is that the amount of Midazolam (Versed) in the autopsy did not correspond to Murray’s words either – only it was the opposite case and was much lower than Murray said.

Why he said it was 4 mg though it must have been much less still begs understanding, but for us the only important thing is that Murray thinks that 4mg of Versed is okay, otherwise he would not be so boldly speaking about it.

Let us listen now to those who were given the same 4mg (or even less) of Versed and are eager to share their impressions of the experience.


These personal accounts were taken from the Versed Busters and Ask-a-patient websites:

Anonymous said…

My 18-year-old daughter was given Versed yesterday, along with Decadron and Valium, to manage the extraction of her 4 wisdom teeth.
30 mins. after the procedure, she awoke completely hysterical — uncontrollable crying and screaming/yelling. This continued for four hours. She then became suicidal — she scratched her wrists completely raw and went stumbling out of the house with scissors in her hands (which we fortunately were able to remove). She stumbled around the neighbourhood for an hour trying to run in front of moving cars (with us following on foot and by car) and returned home to collapse. She then became exceptionally angry and would not allow anyone near her or touching her. She refused to allow us to take her to hospital emergency.
The recommendation of our family doctor was that we either monitor her “day and night” for 24 hours or call the police to come with a straighjacket and admit her to a psychiatric facility. We chose to monitor her due to the potential trauma of option B. Following all of the above, she fell asleep for an hour.
On awaking, she had no memory of what had taken place for the entire day. No memory of having clawed herself, no memory of being at the dentist, etc. While the hysteria had subsided, she was exceptionally emotional and continues to be this way 24 hours later.
I spent considerable time today researching the adverse reactions of this incredibly nasty drug. I personally think it should be banned. It is close to being criminal that it would be administered to a child with no warnings to the parents or patient about the potential adverse reaction. I am appalled but want to thank you and others who have taken time to share their stories and to shed light on such a vile drug.

Anonymous said….

I was given this drug during foot surgery in an ambulatory surgical suite. Surgery was at 2:00 p.m., but I was unable to leave until 9:00 p.m. I woke up screaming, fighting, trying to jump off the gurney. I was going in and out–sometimes aware–sometimes not. I remember trying to punch out a nurse, trying to bite someone, etc. When I finally became somewhat rational, I had been tied to a chair; my elbow was skinned, etc. The effects continued for about 10 days, headaches, dizziness, disorientation. This is absolutely the worst drug I have ever encountered. If the goal was a speedy recovery, it had the opposite effect—I needed their attention for hours!

Jackie said…

I am a strong woman and Versed reduced me to a paranoid maniac as well. I can tell you this. The first 2 months were the absolute worst. I was so freaked out I could barely hold a coherent thought, couldn’t perform my job, couldn’t sleep and wanted to kill myself and others. The mania has slowly subsided. It is almost a year now and while I am still FURIOUS, I don’t feel so out of control. I still have problems sleeping and concentrating, but not ANYTHING like before.

Tim’s account:
I am an electrical engineer. In the weeks after my return to work, I found that I had no recall of certain details of my job. We are very procedure and detail oriented. I found that certain blocks of information seemed to have simply disappeared from my long term memory. What else have I forgotten? 

For three years post-op I experienced flashbacks of anxiety that occurred randomly – while at work, while driving, while teaching. These were accompanied by an odd sensation of trying to recall a memory but it refused to come into focus. Very strange, very unsettling – and I never experienced anything like this before exposure to Versed.

Mary’s account:

When I awoke, I was very agitated and upset. I remember wondering what had happened to me, with the sense that something very bad had happened but I couldn’t remember what. Weeks later, I went to use my instant cash card, put it into the machine, and went to enter the PIN number, when I realized, much to my shock, that I had absolutely no idea of what the number was. I had used the same PIN for years. It never did come back. No doubt there are other ‘lost’ things, but I haven’t recognized what they are.

John said…

On March 14, 2006, my wife under went an EGD procedure. The Doctor used a powerful sedative, VERSED. She was released to me still under the effect of this drug. VERSED causes a dense amnesia which blocks all memory of the procedure. During the first 2 – 3 weeks following she had trouble finding new locations from typical directions. If she had been there previously then she could find it again. Not so with a new address. The VERSED caused total amnesia lasted for several hours after reaching home. She did not know her husband’s name, for example. 

Karen awoke not expecting such a total loss of recall. I have never seen her so anxious. When she found out VERSED was also a Date-Rape drug she was really worried.

Ron Kelly said..

Several years ago I suffered temporary amnesia from a blow to the head. I lost memory of events occuring in the hospital for a couple of weeks, but I DID regain that memory. With the Versed memory loss, I never did regain the memory, and that was 4 years ago.
My wife just had one and was in a haze all day long.  As for me? NO THANKS! NO VERSED FOR ME! I have enough memory problems without adding to it.

I have to admit that nearly everyone I talk to, even nurses, absolutely love having Versed. They look at it like a joy ride. That’s fine. I don’t like having blank spots in my memory and don’t want anymore of anything that promotes it.

Erica said…

I never wanted to know what occurred during my surgeries. My medical condition was less than pleasant, and I only cared that the problem was rectified. However, the lasting effects of Versed have caused me to reevaluate my thoughts. What are left of them, that is.
In 1999-2000, I was an award winning Sr. site manager for the world’s largest management company. Then, I had 10 surgeries, 8 of which were done using Versed. Suddenly, I was extremely anxious and even asked to be demoted because I could no longer manage two sites. I had no idea why the work that had once been so easy was suddenly impossible for me to complete. I could not focus on routine tasks and became easily irritated and excessively distracted. Over time it became apparent that certain memories were simply gone. 
In 2003, I left my employment to move with my husband. I thought that being a stay at home mother would be easier, and it was for a time. Yet, over the last four years, the problems have gotten worse, not better. It may be because I have time to try to reflect on my life and some fairly large pieces are missing. I agree that these missing memories cause anxiety. Sadly, it’s not just memories from the time of the surgeries that have been erased. I do not remember the first year of my daughter’s life. My husband finds it hilarious when I think that one of our children has done something for the first time and it turns out it is the third or fourth time. I simply don’t remember. I don’t remember large parts of high school and college. I don’t remember much of my childhood.

I can handle that fairly well. What I cannot handle is my distractablilty and irritablility. I seem to get into a rage at times and then become extremely sad and withdrawn afterwards. I live in fear that I will hurt one of my precious children. In researching these issues, I have found that I have all of the symptoms of temporal lobe ADD, and I have an appointment to see a doctor this week. I know that Versed played a role in my problems since they were not present prior to the surgeries.
In closing, I would like to thank Tim and Jackie for contacting me after I posted on another site. Knowing that others have had the same experiences at least gives me some sense of peace.

Anonymous said…

Impaired memory since administration, now 2 years. Never again. 1mg

Anonymous said…

My wife had a colonoscopy two months ago. They told her nothing, just “sign on dotted line” and “you will not remember anything”! They used versed, 3 mg followed by another 5 mg during the procedure. She came out of this with everything described as I have read here. All I want is my wife back as she was before the procedure. She was a strong woman, and now she is a basket case.

NOTE: Murray fed Michael with Versed on a continuous basis and on the last night alone he said that he gave Michael 4 mg of Versed. Whether it is true or not it does not matter – if Murray says it is okay to give 4mg of Versed nothing would have stopped him from giving this or a higher dose on another day.

And the Versed sufferer had impaired memory for 2 years from just 1mg of Versed, while the second victim turned into a basket case from being injected 8 mg of Versed just once.

It gives me shudders to recall that Michael was also called a basket case – by stage manager Bugsy (Hougdahl) in his June 19th email to Randy Phillips:

  • “I’m not being a drama queen here. MJ was sent home without stepping on stage. He was a basket case and Kenny was concerned he would embarrass himself on stage, or worse yet- get hurt…”

Or this Ortega’s email to Phillips on June 20th:

  • “There are strong signs of paranoia, anxiety and obsessive-like behavior….”

Karen Faye said that Michael was barely coherent in his last days and was constantly repeating things to himself. People recalled that he was forgetting the lyrics of his own songs and Ortega seriously considered that he was in need of a psychiatrist.

In short the general impression of it is that Michael was a classical picture of a Versed victim:

Jackie said…

To all of you who have had this experience with the Versed, isn’t it ODD that we all can describe the same exact mental reactions to this chemical? As I read the posts of others and re read my own I can see a pattern in the disruption of our mental processes. Anger, anxiety and obsession are at the top of the list, which is really bad for those of us who previously could be described as normal. It is disconcerting to suddenly have mental problems.

Anonymous said…

I have had a EDG every month for the past year along with an MRI which I was sedated for. The Doctor uses Versed for the EDG procedures. My problem is I have become very depressed and I thought I was suicidal. I even admitted myself to a physic unit. Is this because of the repeat use of versed? I have to have the EDG every three months now. But I am worried about getting worse. I was a Senior Web Developer but lost my job due to my anxiety.

Anonymous said…

I knew something was wrong when I became very dizzy right before the procedure. The next thing I knew, several hours had gone by and I was being told to wake up. I felt like I’d been hit by a train. I literally felt as though I’d been in a fight. I was told I’d had a bad reaction to the drug they gave me.

Anonymous said…

Stayed conscious and aware during procedures. After procedure had extreme anxiety, extreme emotional lability, accelerated heart rate, paranoia, vertigo, extreme brain fog, etc that lasted over a week. Thought I was losing my mind. I would NEVER recommend this drug to anyone unless they were fully aware of ALL the side effects this drug can cause.

Anonymous said….

As a pharmacist with plenty of training in the area of IV drugs (and as someone in a primary care environment who interacts with patients post-procedure)……….with all due respect to the “anesthesia providers” who offer an opinion on Versed, let me make one comment: basically, Versed hurts a LOT of patients. The amnesia, PTSD that is causes is terrible and haunts many patients.

Anonymous said…

Only through honesty and open dialog can care improve. The truth is Versed IS a real problem for many patients. We all just need to be aware of that and proceed accordingly. However, there are prejudices in both the medical industry and patient attitudes that often cause problems. This site is valuable because it is one method of communicating about the issue and it is reassuring to be reminded that I am not the only person who has had a bad reaction to Versed. 

Several years ago I had to go into Dartmouth Hospital for a heart catheterization procedure. I was told I would be awake but “relaxed” because it was a short-term, outpatient procedure being done only to check out my congenital arrhythmia problem. I went ahead with the procedure because I trusted my cardiologist who seemed to trust the Nurse Anesthetist. BIG mistake! 

I remember being wheeled into the OR talking about the procedure and my dogs, then suddenly “awakening” in a disoriented panic with the distinct impression that someone was running a blowtorch along my neck. Then, suddenly I guess I was out again as I do not remember much more until I woke up in recovery feeling absolutely awful — the most horrible sense of pain, doom and general malaise ever. 

Afterward, despite receiving nothing except “minimal” amounts of Versed and a couple of shots of local anesthetic where they inserted the catheters, I had trouble breathing for several and shook like crazy for hours afterward and experienced nausea and vomiting for several days. For weeks afterward I felt dizzy, unusually tired, lethargic and moderately depressed. Despite usual good health and an even, happy temperament, I just could not seem to get into “recovery” mode. I had recurring nightmares, where I could recall fragments of what had happened in the OR, but could not synthesize them into a context that I could consciously deal with so I could get past them and move one. This lasted for months!

I researched it all myself and learned that I, like MANY (but not all) people have an intolerance to Versed that may well have to do with individual genetics and their effect on metabolizing the various components of the drug. As consumers and human beings, we, as patients, deserve and have a right, as well as an obligation to ensure that we are treated as we should be.

NOTE: Troubles with breathing, shaking like crazy, being unusually tired, lethargic or feeling like “you’ve been hit by a train” were surely the last thing Michael wanted, however if Versed is capable of producing such an effect from just one dose of it, how much more damage could be done by a massive amount of Versed given by Murray on a regular basis?

I am absolutely sure that Versed was administered regularly even from the regularity of orders Murray was making – the first 20 vials (40ml) came on April 30, 2009, 20 more vials arrived on May 12 and 20 more vials on June 15.  This makes it 120ml altogether. If divided by approximately 48 working days (April 30 – June 24) it is at least 2,5 ml of Versed per day.

So even if Michael was not having a specific intolerance to this drug the overall quantity of it was still a huge damaging factor to his health.

These people felt lethargic and like they’d been hit by a train? But this is exactly the impression I got of that spider scene in This is it on June 24th – remember Michael and Travis Payne on an elevated bridge slowly taking Michael into some dark door in “This is it” and Michael being unsmiling, slow and barely conscious?

Or do you remember the expression of Michael’s face when he was singing the Earth song? He looked listless and lifeless though they say it was a good rehearsal.

Actually lethargic is a more proper word. And it is not because of the song – he was feeling that way.

Now see what the Versed sufferers say about one more complication of Versed.

Dot said….

My problems with Versed were the after-effects. I experienced extreme insomnia that lasted months, blunted emotions, an inability to be still, and large hives that appeared off and on for months. I had other symptoms, but I’m not sure if they were caused by the Versed or by the fact that I couldn’t sleep, etc. This happened to me a couple of times, but the last time was when I put the puzzle together. I thought I was just going crazy, but found a group on the web that pretty much saved me. I took me almost 2 years to feel like things were back to normal again.  I’m glad to find this blog, and that it’s available for others to access before they innocently agree to administration of Versed.  I have to say that I have relatives who have used Versed with no problems, but for me, never again.

Anonymous said…

I never made it to surgery. Immediately began dry heaving violently. Felt like something exploded in my head. I could not go into surgery, because the dry-heaving continued for hours. Not only did have the opposite of relaxation, but I was unable to go to sleep until after 4am the next morning, and then I woke up after about 2 hours from a nightmare. I was never prone to nightmares. The disrupted sleep continued for weeks gradually letting me sleep a bit longer each night, but having multiple nightmares every night. It has been more than a year now, and I am still having nightmares more frequently than ever before. In addition, I have developed what feels like mild altzheimers. I have difficulty focusing.

Anonymous said…

No one described to me that I would have amnesia after the IV sedation for an endoscopy. It is 12 days since this procedure and I cannot sleep or eat properly and have almost passed out on several occasions, I also feel tearful and extremely agitated.

Anonymous said…

This was my second experience with Versed. I am glad that I don’t remember anything about the tooth extraction and implant. I felt very foggy the rest of the day. It is now 11 days later and slight fogginess hangs on. I’ve been able to do difficult Sudoku and it has not affected my life at all. I just don’t feel 100%. I have always battled insomnia but it seems worse. (1mg was given)

NOTE: So besides all the other charms of this medication one of its effects is extreme insomnia and problems with sleep – at least for some people? Then what was the point of giving it to Michael? What if he also had the same reaction and his insomnia was actually exacerbated by Versed?

And how could he function if he was experiencing the same fogginess for days and weeks after Versed that was given to him on a nightly basis?

Anonymous said…

Severe panic attack the following day. Happened while driving. Stopped twice in severe distress not wanting to have an accident. Heart racing, shaking, light headed, sounds seemed muffled and strange. Very scary. Had never experienced this before.

Anonymous said…

The surgery I had was no more painful than getting a tooth filled. Conscious sedation and lidocane was enough pain control. That’s right, I was conscious, like I wanted thru half the surgery! Two months later experienced severe headaches, loss of concentration, inability to focus, Impulsive rage, depression , suicidal thoughts and a loss of self-control. This lasted about 3 weeks as the drug absorbed in to the tissues during the surgery got released.

Anonymous said…

I am ENRAGED at the common misuse of this drug! After I awoke in Recovery, I had severe trembling that quickly diminished but kept coming back periodically for 2 weeks. Crying (I believe as a side effect of Versed) in recovery because they couldn’t “find” my husband in the waiting room even though he was there anxious to hear how the surgery had gone for the 7 hour duration. Severe shivering, disturbing memory fragments, fear, anxiety lasting weeks.

Anonymous said…

I was fine just before I was given the the drug through an IV, but when I woke up in my hospital bed I was shaking so bad that the bed was shaking too. I was unable to walk unassisted for months, I used walls to get from one room to another. I shook so bad that children would ask their parents “What was wrong with that lady?” I scared them. I was with my mother who was in her sixties and I was in my forties at a plant sale. I purchased several plants and was picking them up to put hem in the car when a bunch of older women came running to help me. No one assisted my sixty something mother, just me because of my whole body shaking. I couldn’t even write because I did not have control of my hands. Even today the limbs on my right side have tremors that are very visible. I shake so much that it is very painful because it never stops and my muscles cannot relax. It is now more than fifteen years later and I’m still in pain. I am scared to death of taking any sort of medication.

Anonymous said…

I felt like I had had about six drinks too many, but never lost consciousness, was totally aware of what was going on, and was highly annoyed by the uppity attitudes of the staff. Apparently they thought I would not remember. I had a full-blown-attack of PTSD while in the recovery room, felt like I was freezing to death and shivering violently. I wanted to kill the nurse because I thought that she was keeping me prisoner, but my body was so drugged I couldn’t even get up. (The nurse was less than compassionate.) My husband is a mental health therapist and he realized that I was hallucinating and tried to calm me down, but it didn’t help. This was a HIDEOUS experience. I will SPECIFICALLY state on any consent forms in the future – “I do NOT consent to the use of Versed.” They can like it or lump it – I don’t really care. There are other things that can be used; the doctors don’t like to use them because they are more expensive (often requiring the presence of an anesthesiologist). I don’t mind paying the difference. I will NEVER go through this again.

NOTE: Does all this shivering and freezing to death remind you of anything? Remember Ortega’s account of Michael shaking so much on June 19th that he could not eat and Ortega had to cut his chicken for him? Here is a part of Ortega’s email of June 19th reminding us how Michael felt that day:

  • “He had a visible case of the chills, was trembling, rambling and obsessing. Everything in me says that he should be psychologically evaluated. If we have any chance at all to get him back in the light, it’s going to take a strong Therapist to help him through this as well as immediate physical nurturing. I was told by our Choreographer that during the Artist’s costume fitting with his Designer tonight they noticed he’s lost more weight. As far as I can tell there is no one taking responsibility (caring for) him on a daily basis. Where was his assistant tonight? Tonight I was feeding him, wrapping him in blankets to warm his chills, massaging his feet to calm him and calling his doctor.
On June 23rd the rehearsal was good. Murray says that he prior to it he reduced the rate of Propofol, but he still gave it!

On June 23rd the rehearsal was good. Murray says that prior to it he reduced the rate of Propofol, but he still gave it!

Let us try to draw some parallels between the way Michael performed during those two rehearsals and the medications Murray gave to him the previous night.

Prior to June 23rdMurray says that he reduced Propofol and gave more of Lorezapam and Versed, though on that night Michael was still on a drip. The rehearsal was good.

As to the night before June 24th Murray claims he gave Michael solely Versed and Ativan.

And what does Alif Sankey says in her testimony at the AEG trial about that day? She says that on June 24th Michael was cold again and had layers of clothes on:

Q. Was Michael there on the 24th?

A. Yes he was there.

Q. How was Michael dressed for rehearsal, was he dressed normally?

A. When I saw Michael that evening at the Staples Center he was layers and wrapped in a blanket

Q. Is it normal to see entertainers wrapped in a blanket?

A. No not like that.

Q. So you just walked passed Mr. Jackson

Q. How did he (MJ) look that day?

A. He didn’t look good, I asked him if he was cold and he said yes.

Q. Did he do songs that night?

A. He rehearsed and did two songs.

Q. Is it normal to see performers with blankets wrapped around them like this?

A. No not like this.

Earth Song was the last song Michael sang.  On that day he was freezing again

Earth Song was the last song Michael sang. On that day he was freezing again

This was after Versed as Murray told us….

Could the same happen on the night prior to June 19th? Absolutely.

It is absolutely logical to assume that after the June 18th so-called “intervention” meeting where Ortega and AEG threatened Michael to pull the plug and said that he would lose everything, even his kids, Michael was in so awful a condition that Murray could easily give him the strongest drug he had for his anxiety, which was Versed, and probably in a big quantity too.

And it is absolutely logical that the next day Versed turned Michael into a “basket case” and made him shiver and freeze, and go rambling and obsessing, and made him unable even to eat because his hands were shaking so terribly that he could not hold a knife…

In her testimony of May 9, 2013 Alif Sankey said that Michael felt so cold on June 19th that he was sitting in his gloves:

A. He was cold and he would tell me that he was cold and a couple of times that he was cold, he would have layers of clothing on.

Q. Did he wear gloves?

A. He did wear gloves on that the day that we all sat for the run through and his hands were cold he was just sitting there watching the show.

Q. Was it cold in the forum?

A. We had a light and a lot of lighting and the light heats up the room.

Q. What was he wearing when he showed up, was it a t-shirt or was it layers on that night of the 19th, what did you observe?

A. Michael was not dressed necessarily for rehearsal, but there was a concert fitting and it was the last fitting. I was outside of Kenny’s office and Travis Payne and Michael Bush was in the dressing room with Michael and after about 30 minutes Travis comes and informed me that they had to take everything back.

On June 20th Michael looked a little better though on that day no one was paying any real attention to him – everybody was busy pacifying Ortega and assuring him that Michael would be okay and would come to every rehearsal from now on.

However Michael’s condition was far from being normal as on Sunday the next day (June 21st) Michael had a severe case of freezing again – half of his body was cold and half was hot, and this is why they called Nurse Lee and she suggested immediately taking him to hospital.

On Monday June 22th Michael went to Klein’s office for the last time and suddenly broke out dancing there for his patients and Klein and everybody had a terrible premonition of a future tragedy – they somehow felt that they were saying their final goodbye to him.

Then came a good rehearsal on June 23rd after a partial drip of Propofol, followed by a lethargic rehearsal on June 24th after Versed when Michael was feeling cold again, and on June 25th he was simply left alone by Murray and died.

I need to say one more thing about Versed.

Considering that Murray is a criminal there is one more feature of Versed which makes it a very dangerous drug in the hands of a person with criminal inclinations – and this is the ability of this drug to bend the mind of the patient, make him compliant and obedient, and unable to object.

In the circumstances when Michael was pressured with each new day to attend those rehearsals and sign Murray’s contract under which he was obliged to pay him $150,000 a month (though initially it was AEG’s responsibility), this specific quality of Versed is beginning to worry me more and more.

Versed sufferers say about it:

Jackie said…

Versed turned me into a compliant zombie without a will of my own no matter how much I fought the drug. It was a real life nightmare where I was trying to stop them and was completely helpless to do anything other than what they ordered me to do. They did not ask if I wanted this, they did not describe the drug except as a “muscle relaxant” They did not even name the drug. I had to go down to the hospital and demand the names of the drugs they used.

Tim said…

I do not know the exact mechanisms involved, but it is supposed to sedate a person and it generally causes amnesia. People can, apparently, carry on a conversation while under the influence. An observer may notice little if anything. One problem is it often turns people into zombies – they are more or less paralyzed and may lose touch with where they are. 

Anonymous said…

This drug is given as a “patient control drug” not to relax the patient. I could hear other patients who had received Versed moanng, crying in pain, but being totally ignored by their providers. I asked one nurse why she was ignoring her patient who was in obvious distress, she told me: “that patient won’t remember any of this for a while so it doesn’t matter” and they just treat the patients roughly and with contempt. When it was my turn, I told the nurse to keep the 4mg of Versed that I was supposed to get and I had a discussion with the GI doctor about the obvious patient abuse that was happening right before my eyes with Versed. She was embarassed when I asked her: “why would you give me Versed after failing to tell me of it’s side-effects?” Why would you treat me with such contempt?

When the anesthesiologist came in, I asked her about Versed; she basically told me thet the endo nurses give it because they aren’t credentialed to give propofol. Yes, a LOT of patients have horrible long-term memory and PTSD issues after Versed and many feel traumatized. No, she would not want Versed herself. I then loudly berated the GI doctor for using Versed to insure that patients become cooperative (but possibly terrified) and in pain (but unable to communicate)..they love Versed, it forces compliance and gets the patient out the door to deal with the psychic trauma at home. The GI doc was very flustered by my speech and she was really upset when I grabbed my clothes, pulled out my cannula and tossed the IV in the sink, loudly proclaiming that I would risk colon cancer (which killed my wife) rather than be treated by a so-called “doctor” like her who is totally dishonest about the Versed that gives during colonoscopy…what else is she lying about? this “doctor” was sobbing when I left; I guess it’s because she was good fiends with my wife..

Anonymous said…

I was in my early 30’s and had Versed when I had my wisdom teeth removed by an Oral Surgeon. I was completely asleep. When I awoke, I started asking the same questions over and over which was to be expected with this type of drug before it was out of your system. The problem was, once it was out of my system, my memory was never the same again. I have told doctors I will never allow it to be used on me again, You’d think by now they would have come up with something better but even new dentists with extensive training in anesthesiology still do not use newer protocols – most continue to use Versed, Brevital and Valium – all old drugs! I love Propofol but know it is normally only used on intubated patients inside a hospital setting. Propofol is best because it is short acting, and it has no memory side effects that I have ever experienced. It’s just like having a really good deep sleep and when you wake up you feel great. Some dentists do use it, but I am not sure of the rest of the protocols they use with it. Anyway, don’t believe anyone that says Versed doesn’t cause permanent memory loss (problems with short term memory) because it DOES. I cannot look at a phonebook or piece of paper with a 10 digit phone number on it and remember it long enough to dial the phone (one example).

NOTE: It isn’t the first time we hear of a comparison of Versed with Propofol and get the impression that Propofol is actually a much better choice – only it is a more expensive one as it requires the presence of an anesthesiologist or at least of a credentialed anesthetist nurse, and this is where the core of the problem evidently is.

Versed is simply easier for a doctor and I do not rule out that Murray was trying to make life easier for himself too…

And medical care providers themselves imply that Propofol does not have all these horrible side effects everyone threatens us with now. In this piece the anesthesiologist directly says that Propofol is a much better choice than Versed, so even from this point of view Murray was changing from one bad thing to an even worse one:

David said…

Interesting website. I am an anesthesiologist and I always try to be upfront and honest about the drugs I use. I’d say about 99% of people prefer to be unconscious as early as possible and remember as little as possible about their surgery, so we get used to sedating people as soon as possible.

The idea that people actually don’t want versed is foreign to a lot of health care workers, so they will want to give it anyway. We see the effects of versed many times every day, and I can tell you that nurses and doctors who administer Versed almost always want Versed when going through a procedure themselves. FYI – the easiest way to avoid Versed would be to list it in your medical allergies. 

As an aside, sedation for colonscopies, and most other procedures are smoother with propofol than versed, plus patients wake up quicker. For that reason, CRNA’s and anesthesiologists usually prefer propofol over versed for short sedation cases such as colonscopies. My guess is that some of these unpleasant experiences were from an RN administering high doses of Versed under the GI doc’s supervision, rather than from a CRNA’s use of versed under an anesthesiologist’s supervision. I’m sure that’s not the case everytime, it’s just a thought. Don’t assume that just because you were sedated that anesthesia providers were involved. It may have just been an RN and the doc doing the procedure.

NOTE: So again, just as in the case of propofol Versed requires proper training in the first place which Murray was surely lacking. By the way Midazolam should be provided strictly in a hospital setting too as its protocol says.

It’s funny that this doctor mentioned nurses and doctors choosing Versed for their own procedures. He would be surprised to hear the following damning accounts from his own colleagues:

Anonymous said…

I’m a physician and I have recommended “sedation” for colonoscopies and was not apprehensive when I was coerced (in a nice way by my nurses) to get one myself. The “sedation” was what most patients receive..Versed 4mg plus some fentanyl…this was a total nightmare! I was not relaxed or sedated at was a drug combo that rendered me unable to communicate and tell the doc that the pain was intolerable…I was thrashing around so badly that the colonoscopy could not be done……….they told me that: “you did great”……..what a joke, I was soaked with sweat and experienced the worst pain of my life…the Versed made it hard for me to communicate..….I will NEVER recommend that ANY patient underdo colonoscopy or any other procedure with “conscious sedation”..Versed is a terrible drug and it appears that many docs exploit it’s “amnesia” properties to treat patients in a rough and abusive manner…

Anonymous said…

I’m an advance-practice nurse who has always told patients that Versed is safe and effective. I no longer do so; in fact I would not recommend this drug at all. My first colonoscopy with 4mg Versed/100mcg fentanyl was a nightmare; the Versed caused extreme agitation, panic,shaking even before the colonoscopy was started. The test was not even started because I was so terrified. Read: TERRIFIED. I have seen every surgical procedure and had confidence in my endo team (I work with them daily), but after receiving Versed and being told that: “you are doing fine..while I was terrified, shaking, my BP thru the roof etc”, I do not trust and form of sedation with this amnestic drug. And weeks later,I can’t remember my kid’s birthdays etc.

Want a terrible experience during a colonoscopy? Want to be terrified, unable to move or communicate (a chemical straightjacket?). Sign the routine sedation consent form and they will give you Versed and laugh at your distress.

Anonymous said…

First let me say I am a Registered Nurse, and I have seen Versed work as it should, but for me it was a nightmare. After giving me “the usual dose” I had absolutely no effect at all, they might as well have given me sterile water. When they realized it wasn’t working, they gave me three more doses, I remember intense fear, panic and I am told that I “turned the air blue with my swearing” which is not good as all since the proceedure was done at the hospital where I worked. To make matters worse I ended up staying two days in the hospital for what should have been an outpatient procedure because I was so disoriented and quite frankly I think that they thought I was mentally ill. To make things worse the so called Amnesia effect that is the reason the drug is used, never worked, I remember acting like a hell cat, and I have to face these people every time I go to work. The real kicker is that I recently had the other knee operated on at another hospital, I listed Versed as an allergy, the Anesthesiologist questioned me and said that is not an allergy, a lot of patients react that way, and yes you guessed it even though I said don’t give it to me, they did, same reaction as last, I have confirmed this by getting a copy of my chart.

Anonymous said…

I am an RN, if that means anything with these comments. This is the dumbest drug I’ve ever seen. It’s primary “help,” in my opinion, from personal experience and hearing from friends, is to put you into such an apathetic child-like state that you can’t speak for yourself honestly when you are in agony during a procedure! Very convenient for the doctor and staff. Maybe they are in denial about it’s effectiveness? The amnesia wears off for me and many others I’ve encountered, leaving you with a sense of being victimized and traumatized. Never again!!!

Anonymous said…

Received versed way back in 1990 for a colonoscopy and wound up with a blood clot in my neck, hospitalized on heparin injections for a few days and 18 months of coumadin. Have a colonoscopy every three years and absolutely REFUSE any versed even tho almost 100 percent of the medical pros seem to defend the drug and all refer to it as the drug of choice especially for colonoscopies. By the way, I am a registered nurse and am a bit concerned by the defense of this drug.

Now know just why it is used so often for procedures not requiring deep sedation, it makes the patient totally compliant with absolutely no memory of the procedure. While I will concede that this is beneficial in promoting patient compliance for repeat colonoscopy screens, there is definitely an air of evasiveness with the risks of this drug.

As with ALL pharmaceuticals, there is a risk/benefit ratio, but as this drug is so convenient to the ease of completing the test I know, as a heath care professional, that full disclosure about the down side of this med is NOT being disclosed.

September 10, 2013 5:27 PM


Everyone understands that the problem with Versed for Michael was not in handling his pain (he probably had none).

The problem was that this nasty and evil drug was totally unnecessary and even damaging for his condition and was imposed on Michael despite his will and in the quantities which exceeded anything anyone ever heard of.

The primary purpose of Versed is to deal with anxiety, send the patient into a “La-La-Land”, give a little drowsiness and induce total amnesia. Did Michael need any of that, especially amnesia? Absolutely not, unless Murray wanted to mend his mind and turn him into a complete vegetable unable to function on an intellectual level.

Wiki also describes Midazolam in a way that makes it clear that a prolonged use of it may turn a person into a lobotomized case:

In susceptible individuals, midazolam has been known to cause a paradoxical reaction, a well-documented complication with benzodiazapines. When this occurs, the individual may experience anxiety, involuntary movements, aggressive or violent behavior, uncontrollable crying or verbalization, and other similar effects. Paradoxical behavior is often not recalled by the patient due to the amnesia-producing properties of the drug. In extreme situations, flumazenil can be administered to inhibit or reverse the effects of midazolam.

Midazolam is known to cause respiratory depression. In healthy humans, 0.15 mg/kg of midazolam may cause respiratory depression, which is postulated to be a central nervous system (CNS) effect.Although the incidence of respiratory depression/arrest is low (0.1-0.5%) when midazolam is administered alone at normal doses, the concomitant use with CNS acting drugs may increase the possibility of hypotension, respiratory depression, respiratory arrest, and death, even at therapeutics doses.

Prolonged infusions with midazolam results in the development of tolerance; if midazolam is given for a few days or more a withdrawal syndrome can occur. Withdrawal symptoms can include irritability, abnormal reflexestremorsclonushypertonicitydelirium,and seizuresnauseavomiting and diarrheatachycardiahypertension and tachypnea.

Symptoms of midazolam overdose can include: Ataxia Dysarthria Slurred speech Mental confusion Hypotension Respiratory arrest Vasomotor collapse, Impaired motor functions, Impaired reflexes, Impaired coordination , Impaired balance, Dizziness, Coma, Death

Midazolam has been used to execute condemned prisoners in the USA via lethal injection.

Fine. Let us sum up.

Murray is either an ignorant imbecile or a criminal involved in a most ingenious conspiracy against Jackson.

The idea that a doctor would give Michael for sleep the medication that is intended to keep patients awake is something really unheard of. Whether done out of ignorance or malicious intent both ways are criminal. Doctors are not allowed to experiment on their patients as if they were guinea pigs – their primary duty is not to do harm and if they don’t know how to do it they should better refrain from even trying.

It is a human life after all.

The main purpose of Versed is decreasing anxiety and producing amnesia. This is why it is used as a pre-operative drug to reduce the patients’ panic and decrease recall of the unpleasant procedure.

But Michael did not need amnesia – he was suffering from insomnia, however this drug does not induce sleep.  It keeps the patient awake and also makes him cooperative. Some medical professionals even point out that the main advantage of the drug is promoting the patient’s compliance.

To a criminal doctor this opens a vast field for abuse as the patient will be cooperative, will do as he is told and will also remember nothing of it.  If, for example, he is told to sign papers in this condition he will do so, and will not even remember what papers he signed.

I have a strong temptation to suspect Murray of using this drug on purpose and with criminal intentions too. The only thing which is more or less releasing him of this suspicion is that he is an ignorant idiot who seldom understands what he is doing, so he could be using Versed is as part of a standard protocol he distantly heard of – after all many other medical care providers also apply it without giving it a thought.

On the other hand Versed is part of a pre-operative protocol and Michael was not undergoing any operations, so there was no obvious need for Murray to select this particular drug.

And Murray is the kind of a man who is not burdened with conscience and ethics, so when it comes to taking advantage of an opportunity that presents itself in this or that way there are absolutely no ethical barriers to stop him.

In short the mystery whether Murray did it intentionally or not will forever haunt me.

However remembering Murray’s idiocy and readiness to talk about Midazolam as a better choice for Michael I’m still inclined to think that he did not know of the poisonous effect of Versed. As is usual with Murray it could be simply a case of his utter incompetence and arrogant ignorance.

Time will show what it really was.

66 Comments leave one →
  1. December 17, 2013 6:00 pm

    YES! It was The side effects of the BENZOS that took Mj away from here .. Mj was allergic to HALDOL!! So which ATIVAN did Murray use in the IV on 6/24/09???? Murrays not Internest !! Hes suppose to be a Cardiologist !! It was AEG who instructed him in medicating MJ & it was Arnie Klein who told Murray about MJs allergies to HALDOL and Yes u can die from the side effects of PROPOFOL !

    Mj had hot & cold sensations Y its on of the side effects ! Didnt ppl think it strange that Mj was wearing layers of clothing ??? & he called Cheryl & she told him to go to the hospital Y if Mj had gone to the hospital they would found out that he was being posioned with PROPOFOL how His Orange!! Murray said mj liked his propofol in his oj ! Really!! Mj wouldnt know he was getting propofol Y isnt orderless & tasteless ! But hed would experience the side effects which is hot & cold sensations !! & Propofol cuczs drastic weight loss along with other HORRIBLE side effects & eventually DEATH!! Ephederine is speed !! MJ giving mj SPEED there was hords of Edpherine in mj also… Mj shouldve never had Has BENZOS Y hazzardous to his Health Y mj has a respirtory condition brought by anxiety when he gets hyper !! Ppl with Rispirtory problems cant use BENZOS!! Y they lower their BREATHING!! Murray had nothing 2 monitor mjs breathing or vital signs .. when the bastard felt for mjs plus it was 2 SHALLOW & it appeared to dumd ass that he was RESTING when in reality MJ was literally dying !! When the Propofol hit mj by IV it SMOTHERED him !! Not 2 mention the BENZOS given by IV which act faster than oral meds ….tears ♥


  2. December 18, 2013 1:00 am

    Helena, the side effects of Versed as you have pointed put are horrific. Michael’s suffering at the hands of Murray is unthinkable. Just a mere search on the internet about this drug reveals its memory erasing property, amongst many others. What made Murray chose this drug, which is also used in suregeries alone? Murray should be interrogated and put behind bars again. He is an insane criminal.


  3. December 18, 2013 1:40 am

    Looking at the obvious blunders that were constantly being made by Murray, it almost appears that Murray did all this on purpose! How could he being a cardiologist not even know the obvious side effects of Versed? How could he go on administering this to Michael? What was he thinking? Now it certainly does NOT even look like ‘involuntary’ manslaughter! If Murray did all of this on purpose, what was his motive? By administering a drug that would erase Michael’s memory, how did Murray fathom of enabling Michael perform? Did Murray not have actual patients whom he treated before being hired by AEG for the concerts? Is it possible that Murray merely goofed up all the while?


  4. December 18, 2013 3:06 am

    I found out about the side effects of Versed ( Midazolam) on a cardiovascular specialists website So there is no way in which Murray would not have known the side effects and the purpose of this drug.


  5. December 18, 2013 7:03 am

    Great research! These are the reasons why responsible anesthesiologists and other doctors regard Propofol as a blessing and prefer it meanwhile to all these other sedatives (sometimes of course in an individual combination with other substances). That’s what I was told from my doctors in our hospital as well. It has only little side effects and when administered correctly it is much safer and better tolerated.
    Recently my internist recommended a colonoscopy for me, and when I asked if I will be sedated he said: Yes, with propofol. So over here now propofol is preferred for it and many doctors are cooperating with anesthesiologists who have their practices often in the same house. They are aware that it is an advantage for them when the patient wakes up and can leave more quickly without all these terrible side effects.
    But it is true, a reason why still these other sedatives are given for procedures like colonoscopies is that it does not require an anesthesiologist, it can be administered by the treating doctor himself or even by nurses, it is cheaper and saves time.
    I remember Dr. Treacy telling in one of his interviews that when Michael came to him for a procedure in Ireland there was no anestheologist available and that’s why they couldn’t sedate him with Propofol and Michael finally agreed also to Midazolam. But it was only once and it was clear that it was not the first choice. With this story Dr. Treacy just wanted to make clear that Michael did not come to him to receive Propofol for sleep and was not “addicted” to it.

    I also remember Dr. Shafer saying in the Murray trial that he cannot understand why CM gave Michael these 3 drugs, that it didn’t make sense and that Murray didn’t know what he did.


  6. December 18, 2013 12:41 pm



  7. December 18, 2013 1:26 pm

    “How could he being a cardiologist not even know the obvious side effects of Versed?” – Suparna

    Suparna, though Murray’s damage looks like the intentional one, I have to admit that many professional anesthesiologists or nurses are also unaware of the adverse effects of this drug. These effects also depend on the individual skills of doctors, so some of them probably practice it so well that no one ever complains (of course it is not Murray’s case).

    But careful and attentive anesthesiologists do notice that something is wrong with this drug. Here are some more quotes – this time from doctors:

    – My policy is no benzo until all the paperwork is completed and confirmed. And if a CRNA hands me a syringe of midaz in my stack of induction drugs, I throw it on the cart and tell them it’s too late for that.
    – I agree that versed is overused.
    – I hate to say it but Sol is right. Seeing all my patients post op, the difference between midaz and no midaz is really alarming.

    “How could he go on administering this to Michael? What was he thinking? Now it certainly does NOT even look like ‘involuntary’ manslaughter! If Murray did all of this on purpose, what was his motive?”

    My impression is that Murray started it out of his usual ignorance and idiocy – he heard from someone that Versed enhances the effect of Propofol and is good for “sleep”, so here he goes with his experiments.

    But as time went by he could easily begin using this drug for making Michael more compliant.

    Murray was helping AEG (he was actually in their employment) and AEG was having problems with Michael not attending rehearsals, and there couldn’t be a better drug than Versed to paralyze Michael’s will and force him to agree to anything they wanted of him.

    From this point of view the fact that Murray began to increase the dosage of Versed in the last few days according to his own story seems to me extremely important. Murray explained it by the need to “wean Michael off” of Propofol, but the explanation can be absolutely different.

    In those days Murray and AEG desperately needed of Michael several things: 1) everyday rehearsals 2) signing Murray’s contract where Michael was to take upon himself paying Murray’s salary (though initially it was not supposed to be that way) 3) they also needed Michael to sign papers that all productions costs would be at his expense (the same papers that were later signed by Tohme and Frank Dileo), 4) and the desperately needed the insurance policy.

    In addition to rehearsals nothing could be more important for AEG than this insurance policy. To obtain the insurance Michael was to provide his medical records for the past 5 years, or at least for the time Murray attended to him – and this was on an on and off basis since December 2006. There was nothing dramatic about those medical records – a flu, pneumonia, some problems with nails on his feet, etc.

    And what did Murray reply to the insurer on the night Michael died? He said that Michael refused to release those medical records because he was firmly of the opinion that he had already obtained an insurance for 10 shows and had done everything that was expected of him.

    In the face of all this resistance from Michael Versed could easily become the main tool in Murray’s hands to break Michael’s will, make him more compliant and obedient. And I am not even saying that under the effect of that drug he could sign any papers they wanted of him.


  8. Marsha permalink
    December 18, 2013 2:02 pm

    Dear Helena, great post as usual. I had not looked at the autopsy report in some time but did review it in light of the program to air n England. And one of the first things that bothered me was the versed. As a matter of fact I was going to post asking the question why in the world did he give him versed?I for one do not think it was such an innocent use by the “Dr’ esp. in light of certain comments given in interviews to the media about Michael and certain activities. Aside from the other horrible side effects of the drug one side effect worries or concerns me the most. Which is its ability to produce an hypnotic state and memory loss. I would not be surprised if the ‘Dr” and others in the camp did not use this drug intentional for its hypnotic effects . Why? to ask certain questions and to get him to sign certain papers. This would explain the taped conversation of Michael played at the “Dr”s trial. Also you pointed out the time line for ordering the drugs. which shows that the Dr. intended to use these other drugs in the beginning. And that he is again lying. But back to versed what would give a cardiologist the idea to give versed in the first place. And also in regards to the Ativan. I am sure that in his appeal that he is going to try to say it was the Ativan that killed Michael and that Michael took it without his knowledge. but from the autopsy I have seen it was found only in the blood, if that is correct then that means that it was not processed by the liver nor excreted by the kidney in the form of urine. which leads me to think that the Dr injected him with it via I.v, perhaps just before he called the emergency rescue people. Which is why he readily admitted to giving it. If Michael took Ativan pills, why would he not take whole pills resulting in either 16 mg or 18 mg not almost 17 mg. Also if Michael took pills they should have been found in his gastric contents and in his urine which according to the autopsy I have seen none was found in either. There are too many discrepancies.


  9. December 18, 2013 2:04 pm

    “These are the reasons why responsible anesthesiologists and other doctors regard Propofol as a blessing and prefer it meanwhile to all these other sedatives. It has only little side effects and when administered correctly it is much safer and better tolerated.” – Susanne

    Susanne, the more I read of Propofol the bigger fan of it I become. After Michael’s death everyone suddenly began writing of “side-effects” of it, but if there are any they are absolutely minuscule and are incomparable to other medications used for the same purpose.

    In fact Propofol is called a revolution in anesthesia and an absolutely safe drug if administered properly and by skilled hands.

    There is one more thing I’ve found about propofol during my little research. Remember that Chinese paper quoted at Murray’s trial and saying that propofol was tested by insomniacs in a hospital and they started sleeping better after that?

    Now I have found another article partially confirming these findings. The Chinese article found that Propofol is resetting the sleep rhythm and helps to restore natural sleep. And the very serious recent article says that prolonged administration of Propofol to rats does NOT result in sleep deprivation – it simply does not build up. Propofol also helps to recover from sleep deprivation.

    Here is information about the Chinese studies:

    Novel Use of an Anesthetic to Reset Sleep Rhythms
    Propofol is a rapid, short acting anesthetic that is often administered intravenously for the induction and maintenance of anesthesia.
    Electroencephalography (or EEG, a technique that measures the brain’s electrical activity) confirms that there are distinct differences between sleep and sedation. Anesthetic agents (e.g., propofol) can induce activity in areas of the brain important for regulating sleep, particularly in people with insomnia (Xu 2011).
    Clinical trial subjects receiving a two-hour infusion of propofol for five consecutive nights showed improvement in sleep onset latency (i.e., amount of time needed to fall asleep), quality of sleep, ease of waking up, and behavior after awakening. These improvements persisted for six months, suggesting that the benefits of propofol could continue long after the initial treatment. In addition, the subjects showing no response to traditional agents such as zopiclone or zolpidem before study treatment were able to effectively use them on occasion after treatment, suggesting that propofol restored the brain’s response to conventional sleep aids (Xu 2011). The study showed that using propofol for a short period of time (at the same time each night) could help reset the body’s natural circadian rhythm, providing long-term benefits for people with chronic refractory insomnia.
    Life Extension is funding a propofol sleep study, but there are no sleep centers currently offering propofol, which requires strict medical vigilance and adherence to safety protocols to avoid dying of a propofol overdose as Michael Jackson did. The therapeutic use of propofol, administered under carefully controlled clinical conditions, is separate and distinct from the irresponsible use of propofol by incompetent healthcare personnel without adequate cardiopulmonary monitoring.

    And here is an abstract from the new study on rats (the article is extremely long and technical):

    Prolonged Sedation with Propofol in the Rat Does Not Result in Sleep Deprivation

    Abstract: “In summary, no EEG or behavioral evidence of sleep deprivation was observed on emergence from sedation. These results imply that sedation is associated with a restorative process reversing the natural accumulation of sleep need that occurs during wakefulness.”

    “We conclude that a 12-hour period of continuous sedation with propofol in the rat is compatible with a restorative process similar to that of naturally occurring sleep. We cannot distinguish whether sedation itself reduces the degree of sleep deprivation, or whether sedation facilitates the simultaneous generation of restorative sleep. Nevertheless, these data suggest that short periods of continuous sedation in the ICU do not prevent, and may enhance, the recovery from sleep deprivation.”

    Michael was no fool and not a suicidal type – he knew that propofol was helping him while everything else did not. The future science will probably prove that he was right.


  10. December 18, 2013 2:48 pm

    “you pointed out the time line for ordering the drugs. which shows that the Dr. intended to use these other drugs in the beginning. And that he is again lying.” – Marsha

    Yes, the timeline for ordering those injectible drugs shows that Murray intended to use them from the very beginning. And probably gave them to Michael without his knowledge. In his police testimony Murray said that the oral pills were not working so he decided to inject them. HE decided. No word was said about discussing it with Michael and obtaining his consent to it.

    In the police interview he also said he had discussed benzos with Michael prior to those last three days when he asked Michael to “try” them. This talk about “trying” makes me suspect that Michael could not even know that Murray had been injecting him with the benzos prior to that.

    “And also in regards to the Ativan. I am sure that in his appeal that he is going to try to say it was the Ativan that killed Michael and that Michael took it without his knowledge.”

    Murray’s defense attorneys already said it at the trial and turned it into their main theory. They claimed that Michael grabbed 8 pills from his bedside without Murray knowing about it. But this theory was totally refuted as Michael’s stomach contained just 1/43rd of ONE pill.

    “Aside from the other horrible side effects of the drug one side effect worries or concerns me the most. Which is its ability to produce an hypnotic state and memory loss. I would not be surprised if the ‘Dr” and others in the camp did not use this drug intentional for its hypnotic effects . Why? to ask certain questions and to get him to sign certain papers.”

    Quite possible. But over here we should remember that whatever Murray wanted to ask of Michael he could have done the same under a light sedation with Propofol too.

    Of course Versed is different because it bends the mind of the patient, so that he is compliant, cooperative and even behaves as not his usual self. It can produce such a delirium that many people upon waking up cannot believe it. All these qualities of Versed make it a potentially terrible drug for abuse.

    Only God knows what Murray could do to Michael under the effect of this drug. A criminal is always a criminal. However what encourages me is that even while being subjected to Versed Michael still stood his ground and refused to provide the medical records for the insurance.

    Could he beat even Versed?


  11. December 18, 2013 4:51 pm

    Midazolam is restricted to use for pre anestesia only and for anestetists with resusciative equipment. It causes hypotension ,apnea and even death. The adult initial dose is 0.5 mg -2.4 mg and max dose 4 mg. It causes anterograde amnesia and will block memory after having been administered. Murray was blocking Michaels memory when he was supposed to go for rehearsals and learn to better memorize his songs and dance..It is very dangerous in hypovolemic patients, ie dehydrated ones. After 3 hrs the patient needs a comprehensive evaluation and must never leave hospital or clinic alone.


  12. December 18, 2013 4:59 pm

    Sorry for typos,but I had prpblems posting.again! There seems to be no limit to Murray´s ignorance and dangererous practises.He was supposed to push Michael to attend rehearsals as he was not progressing satisfactorily.So what is Murray to do?!
    He goes ahead and increases the amount of Midazolam that will in fact block Michael from learning.


  13. Mariam permalink
    December 18, 2013 9:35 pm

    “Michael was no fool and not a suicidal type – he knew that propofol was helping him while everything else did not. The future science will probably prove that he was right” Helena

    Remember, He was also reading since books. I do remember that old lady interview, her husband Robert sold the Beatles’ cattaloge to MJ in “Perth Australia 1985 “, she said about MJ asked her to take him to antique book store to purchase medical text books and she said he got very graphic book which was talking about skin diseases.

    He was very young and he was trying to learn about skin diseases because of the condition he had, so I am certain he was searching and tried to find a treatment for his insomnia and probably he read this Chinese studies.

    But peoples think he was crazy using propofol for insomnia, but he was not, he was really smart. as you said Helena,” the future science will probably prove that he was right”


  14. December 19, 2013 1:36 am

    Thanks Helena for your brilliant analysis of the situation. You are the only one that I know of, who has come up with this insight about Versed, in connection with Murray. Even I had not paying much attention to these drugs and kept thinking they are merely sleeping pills. And this study of the drug Versed as done by you is another eye opener to Murray’s exploitation of Michael’s situation. I even came across these websites where Versed has been called ‘date rape drug’ and have been used in certain instances for physical abuse of the patient, given the fact that the drug causes amnesia and hence the patient cannot ever recall what they may have may have been subjected to, after having administered this drug. These are the links : and I do agree with you about the reasons behind Murray’s choice of this drug . I feel that Murray owes an explanation to Michael’s Mom and to his fans as to why he administered this drug to Michael. The interviewers taking his interviews should be grilling him on these points rather than asking insane questions about Michael himself. Murray should be taken to task for his use of this drug for Michael. This itself is a good enough reason.


  15. December 19, 2013 4:36 am

    “Even I had not paying much attention to these drugs and kept thinking they are merely sleeping pills.” – Suparna

    I also thought nothing of them at first and found information about Versed quite by chance. Out of the three benzodiazepines given to Michael by Murray (Lorazepam and Versed were injected, and Valium was in a pill form) Versed is the nastiest one, and the biggest question connected with it is why it was given to Michael at all.

    From what we learn about it is that it is a powerful amnesia and control drug. None of it Michael needed, so why? And why in so big quantities?

    The other two are tranquilizers which are often given to inhibit anxiety, so if Murray was giving them it means that Michael was undergoing through a huge stress (and not only due to the shows, but mostly due to the pressure exerted on him). Lorazepam is also used for the short-term treatment of insomnia – short-term because it quickly builds tolerance and will require more and more, and can end in a dependency.

    But why Versed? It stands out from the rest due to its amnesiac qualities for which it is prized by surgeons – patients will not remember all those blood-stained instruments, etc. and for surgery it may indeed be a valuable drug. But why use it in Michael’s case? He did not need any amnesia!

    Another use they put Versed to is to make the patient easy and compliant. But if Murray was using it for this purpose it raises even more questions than the amnesia thing.

    And in addition to all that we also find out that Versed has horrible side-effects, many of which were displayed by Michael – long-term memory loss (he forgot the lyrics of his songs), loss of coordination (in June he could no longer make spins which he could in April), more anxiety and panic intermitting with lethargy and dumbness, a kind of a delirium when Michael was “rambling and obsessing”, and in addition to all that he had severe shaking, trembling and freezing to death – and Versed victims describe all that too!

    This “freezing to death” symptom Michael was suffering from was totally inexplicable to everyone who analyzed the situation. Doctors were baffled because Propofol absolutely does not produce it. All the doctors could say is that they don’t know because no one was subjected to Propofol for that long, but after a short-term use they never saw it.

    It could have been a withdrawal symptom from Demerol, but withdrawal from it starts within 6-36 hours from taking it while Michael was given it during Klein’s procedures mostly in May and beginning of June, so the time frame was wrong – it was too late for Demerol.

    Then what?

    Dr. Czeisler said it could be the result of sleep deprivation, and this is indeed one of its symptoms manifested by rats before they die. But Michael was intermittently falling into that state and then coming back to normal again. For example, on June 19th he shook so horribly that he couldn’t even eat, but during the June 20th meeting he didn’t produce that impression. On June 23rd he danced with several shirts on, but the next day June 24th he arrived with a blanket on and had to wear a winter jacket – so on that day the case of his chills was worse.

    In short it was coming and going, and this clinical picture could very well reflect the Versed given to him by Murray.

    Look at the timeline:

    June 18th – a crisis meeting, Ortega’s ultimatum, AEG threatens to pull the plug and Michael loses everything, probably even his kids. This brings about a heavy anxiety, fear and probably even panic. Murray most probably gives Versed (for anxiety, amnesia, whatever) and the next day on June 19th Michael is a “basket case” and has a severe case of chills.

    Or look at the June 24th rehearsal – prior to it Murray argues with Michael and he agrees to Lorazepam and Versed only, and the next day again Michael feels very cold again and arrives in a blanket in addition to his visible lethargy and a hangover he complained about.

    So Michael’s symptoms do fit in with what Murray himself said about his “treatment” of MJ with Versed.

    The only thing that remains to be seen is why Murray was giving Michael Versed at all and why in so gigantic doses. He ordered 120ml (!) of it and was evidently planning to order more as he telephoned the Applied Pharmacy on June 24th, but the order could not be taken due to bad connection and Tim Lopez said he would call back. But then Michael died and all contacts between them stopped.

    “I feel that Murray owes an explanation to Michael’s Mom and to his fans as to why he administered this drug to Michael. The interviewers taking his interviews should be grilling him on these points rather than asking insane questions about Michael himself.”

    Yes, Murray does owe all of us an explanation why he was doing it.


  16. December 19, 2013 4:44 am

    As we are talking about the meds administered in Michaels last days or mornings it would be good to review the list and timing of them..


  17. December 19, 2013 6:57 am

    Thanks Helena. Murray has to pay for his cruel torture of Michael, sooner or later.


  18. December 19, 2013 11:53 am

    Midazolam can cause paradoxical exitement and reflex movements resembling those of an epileptic seizure.Remember that autopsy report mentioned some scrapes os superficial wounds on his legs.How did those come about? I can not find the autopsy report nor the toxicology anymore.


  19. December 19, 2013 2:09 pm

    “Remember that autopsy report mentioned some scrapes or superficial wounds on his legs.How did those come about? I can not find the autopsy report nor the toxicology anymore.” – rkatarina

    Rkatarina, frankly I don’t remember that point in the autopsy report. When I was reading it for the first time it was so terrible an experience that I may have missed something. Now the wound is not that fresh so we can probably have a look again.

    Placing the autopsy report in this blog was the least of my desires but since you and others are asking, I’ve put it (probably temporarily) in the menu of the blog.

    It is a pdf file. In order to see you need to press the link.

    It is below the header and comes immediately after “AEG contract with Michael” which is a very logical place for it I think.

    P.S. You were right. Page 6 says “There is a bruise on his left inner leg, below his knee and 4 discolored indentations were found on his lower backside».

    I still can’t read it any further. It makes me sick. Why would anyone want to read it or watch a film about it?

    Let us remember him alive instead.


  20. December 19, 2013 3:00 pm

    I have several links to the autopsy report. One of them is this:

    It’s also on the sites of several media outlets, like CNN, as well as some sites of MJ supporters. So it’s still easy to find.


  21. December 19, 2013 3:23 pm

    I have several links to the autopsy report. One of them is this: – Susanne

    Susanne, thank you. This version could be embedded, so now it is on the respective page. But something inside me is still terribly battling the idea of having it in the blog. Same as the film I don’t want to see it and wouldn’t like it to be here. So how long it will stay I don’t know.


  22. December 19, 2013 3:52 pm

    However the tables from the autopsy report may be extremely helpful. I had a look at one of them and found that Investigator Melissa Fleak found 5 bottles of 10ml Midazolam in Murray’s bags:

    This bottle should be like this – 10ml bottles come in a bigger concentration (5mg per 1ml):

    But the three invoices from Applied pharmacies list Midazolam in vials of 2ml only – ten bottles 2 ml each:

    The 2ml vial is this one:

    If I understood the autopsy report right it means that Murray was getting Midazolam from some other sources !?

    Please have a look too, and if my observation is correct the situation with Midazolam is getting even more sinister than we initially thought.


  23. December 19, 2013 4:20 pm

    A person sedated by midazolam needs to be observed and monitored all the time. After 3 hrs if an evaluation shows him/her to be alright he can be let go home if accompanied By an adult. No driving or operating machinery for 12 hrs. The risks are much increased if midazolam is given in combination with any other sedatives. Only now I understand that Murray was not by his side but in an adjecent room while making all those phonecalls. And from there he left for the 2 min. in the bathroom. Murray royally messed up Michael´s brainchemistry to the bitter end. You can not expect every doctor to know every medicine, but you will absolutely expect that he knows the medications he gives his patients,the pharmacology,pharmacokinetics, compatibility with other meds, side effects, precautions etc
    Now he wants his verdict reversed! Instead he should go to jail for some more yrs. his negligence is,was criminal.Not a little mistake..


  24. December 19, 2013 4:29 pm

    Before writing the post about Midazolam I listened to Tim Lopez’s testimony at Murray’s trial. He explained each and every invoice he sent to Murray. All in all there were 7 shipments.

    Midazolam was in three of these shipments. It came in the following dosages and the following quantities:

    April 30
    Lorazepam concentration 4mg: 10 vials x 10ml = 1 tray (10 vials)
    Midazolam concentration 1mg: 10 vials x 2ml = 2 trays (20 vials)

    May 12
    Midazolam 10 vials x 2 ml = 2 trays (20 vials)
    Flumazenil (its antitode) 10 vials x 5 ml = 1 tray (10 vials)

    June 15
    Lorazepam 10 vials x 10 ml = 1 tray (10 vials)
    Midazolam 10 x 2ml = 2 trays (20 vials)

    But there were no Midazolam vials of 10ml volume there!

    How could Murray’s bag have 5 vials of it in his bag? So he bought them in addition to the 120ml we already calculated?

    Does it mean that he was giving Michael even bigger quantities than we thought? This stack alone is 50ml! And the dosage of 10ml volume vials is 5mg per 1ml, so in milligrams it is 250mg!

    Have a look at this evidence found on the scene:

    And here is Tim Lopez’s testimony – please check it up yourselves:


  25. Treece permalink
    December 20, 2013 1:41 am

    Off topic here, but I wanted to ask if oyu had heard anything about this, Helena:

    I just wanted to know if you have heard about Katherine Jackson’s “Fundanything” crowdfunding site? She is trying to raise money to alleviate the costs of a documentary they are producing about MJ, called “Katherine Jackson Presents: Remembering Michael”. Is this legit? You can see the crowdfunding site here:

    sorry again for going off topic, but if this is legit, it could be a great way to support the memory of MJ! Thx Helena!


  26. Sina permalink
    December 20, 2013 10:22 am

    Helena, I absolutely agree that there must be a connection between side effects of drugs Michael was ‘treated’ with (or kept from!) and the symptoms he was suffering days before the fatal morning. I will ask my niece who is an anesthesiologist to give her opinion on your theory about versed. As far as I know it is still used on a large scale, as with any other drug it has its benefits and bad effects. rkatarina stated that as a doctor when you give your patient drugs . you have to know the pharmacology,pharmacokinetics, compatibility with other meds, side effects, precautions and you have to take them seriously. Which Murray , maybe after 6 weeks without incidents failed to do and lied about , going from negligent to criminal.
    Because of their effect on the brain function, the use of anesthetics combined with sedatives, sleep and pain medication are not the field of cardiology but belong to pharmacology and anesthesiology and require extreme finetuning to fit an individuals needs. Which includes knowledge of patients metabolism, weight, heighth, tolerance, allergies, even things like muscle tone and other personal physical characteristics- tongue,small veins !, medical history,allergies etc , not to forget high levels of stress hormones. And even with all the knowledge and precautions, while administering these drugs, permanent monitoring by an anesthesiologist with an aid and necessary equipment is a must because of unexpected effects.
    That is also why they are strictly used for surgery and on patients with severe medical conditions and kept to a minimum because any intervention in brain function increases the risk of brain damage. The longer it takes, the higher the risk.

    And this is where I disagree with Helena that it was ok for Michael to use propofol as a sleep aid. There is no such thing as safe anesthetics. Everything that messes with your brain function is a risk . Propofol is RELATIVELY safe because it is shortlived and does not SEEM to have shortterm effect , but when you administer it for 18 hrs for weeks or months, that quality becomes irrelevant.
    It is not ok for anyone to be used as a guinee pig for an experiment that so far has only been used on rats. If even specialists do not agree on the merits of propofol as a sleep aid why should Michael the one to experiment on . I do not deny Michaels severe insomnia, but the reason why he agreed or maybe asked for propofol was because he was manipulated into an extremely stressful situation: dealing with AEG and 50 shows only to satisfy AEGs ego, to fill their pockets and to entertain us.
    He did not use it in his everyday life as a father , a musician, a humanitarian and a businessman. because there was no need for it.
    There is no justification for any doctor to give an otherwise healthy man drugs that put him in a coma for hours, other than getting lavishly paid which may compensate the risk of losing their license and the patient losing his life.
    My stance is and will always be the doctor who introduced this to Michael and anyone who contributed to it along the way are morally and ethically wrong. If it was such a great treatment and to be proud of ‘helping ‘Michael, then why did Metzger and all the doctors who we know were involved deny it. The only one who admitted was Debbie Rowe and Murray because he was caught redhanded. Even Michael never talked to anyone about it, because he knew it was not ok.
    The only remedy for Michael would have been to avoid situations that increased his insomnia to a level where he could not function anymore. That is what Murray should have prescribed him and what the AEG Team should have taken action on.
    And as it turns out Michael did not need to do 50 shows to make cash, which was why he would do them in the first place, as he was not short of assets . Its hard to accept that a man who at 30 could have retired, had to die for cash and others have benefitted more from him since he died than he did and even brag about it.


  27. December 20, 2013 2:28 pm

    Sina, I know that my views on Propofol are unconventional however I stand by what I said. And my views should not be regarded as a justification of Murray’s actions. I have simply read about Propofol so much that know by now that it is an absolutely safe drug in SKILLED hands.

    If Propofol had been administered professionally Michael would have given those concerts and would be alive now. Don’t blame the drug, blame the doctor who did it all wrong.

    The off-label use of Propofol for sleep may turn out to be the same type of a paradox which happened with Viagra – they were developing it for heart condition but it suddenly worked for something totally different.

    This “paradox” of Propofol we do not yet know, but the first studies of it (in China on 64 patients and in Chicago University on rats) already show that the effect of Propofol on restoring natural sleep has been underestimated and should be studied further. There might be a huge potential here and only future studies can tell what’s what.

    Michael could be the first to learn about the beneficial effect of Propofol on natural sleep because he had unique experience with it and was able to trace the effect of. He had a first-hand experience with it and he knew.

    But even if Michael was familiar with Propofol, it does not mean that Michael was using it on a regular basis. I never said it!

    I never said it because I am absolutely sure that he NEVER used propofol in his everyday life. He simply DID NOT HAVE TO because he used it only between performances if he didn’t have a chance to recuperate between the shows in a natural way. It was a remedy of last resort for him.

    Debbie Rowe said that he was able to fall sleep only the next day after the show and needed Propofol only prior to concerts. But again not for every concert but only by the end of the tour when his fatigue built up and prevented him from sleeping. This is why he needed it only for two concerts in Germany and not the whole History tour. Another reason could be an additional stress of those concerts as at least one of them was to be broadcast (as far as I know).

    And stress is the key word here.

    Michael’s biggest problem during This is it rehearsals was STRESS. My mother as a psychologist has studied emotions and stress all her life and I know how fundamental a factor stress is. It was ONLY due to stress that MJ completely lost the ability to sleep naturally in May-June 2009.

    When Michael was not under stress he slept well enough to function during the day. The Cascios said that in their home Michael was always able to sleep. Same in Ireland. Same in Bahrain where it was most probably inaccessible to him. Same in his everyday life when there was no need to produce a high-energy performance after a sleepless night.

    10 shows in London if done twice a week for example, would have been absolutely no problem for him. EVEN if he needed Propofol just prior to a concert. That would be twice a week only.

    But 50 shows set for every other day were a huge, tremendous, absolutely overwhelming stress for Michael which we cannot even imagine. The moment he learned about those 50 shows his future fate was decided.

    Now there was no other way out for him but Propofol. A show on one day, Propofol the next day, another show, another Propofol sleep the next day – and so on and so forth for the rest of those 31 shows set for the summer season.

    31 shows = 31 nights with Propofol and that’s it. Awful but probably possible and absolutely not Michael’s choice as he wanted only 10.

    However with AEG the stress began much earlier. It started with a slap prior to the press conference (March 5), then broke afresh with announcing the 50 shows (middle of March) and then went on for EVERY day of the rehearsal period due to AEG’s insistence that he trains 6 days a week and performs 6 days a week too.

    It is absolutely no chance occurrence that Michael started asking for Propofol in April only – this came after all his troubles with AEG over the 50 shows, problems with Tohme and his eventual dismissal and the start of the show production. Nurse Lee treated Michael in February – mid April and said that in April he was not quite himself. He looked stressed out.

    His stress was doubled each time they arranged a new crisis meeting for him and it finally turned into his complete agony when they said that he would lose his children.

    And all this stress required Propofol – even before the concerts started. Even BEFORE they started though it was never planned that way.

    And this is why I am absolutely adamant that AEG was the ultimate reason for Michael’s death.

    It was THEM who created this unbearable stress for Michael. It was due to THEM that his sleep problems became so critical. It was THEIR doing that he had to resort to Propofol even before the tour began. And Murray’s unprofessionalism and ignorance were just an additional factor here. They were the cause and he was the hands that did it.


  28. December 20, 2013 4:09 pm

    “I just wanted to know if you have heard about Katherine Jackson’s “Fundanything” crowdfunding site? She is trying to raise money to alleviate the costs of a documentary they are producing about MJ, called “Katherine Jackson Presents: Remembering Michael”. Is this legit? You can see the crowdfunding site here:” – Treece

    Treece, no, I haven’t heard about it. Now I tried to have a look at the video but it is not available in my location. I learned just a bit about it from this article:

    We knew him as the King of Pop, but Prince, Paris and Blanket Jackson knew him as Dad.
    As fans around the world mourned the death of Michael Jackson, the global superstar’s three kids had to say goodbye to their father, but they continue to keep his memory alive.
    According to ABC News, M.J.’s children share stories and intimate details about Michael’s personal life through their eyes in a new documentary titled Remembering Michael, which is executive produced by family matriarch (and Michael’s mother) Katherine Jackson.

    “It took me until I was, like, 6 years old, to learn that his name was Michael Jackson. He was always ‘Daddy’ to me,” Jackson’s 16-year-old son says in the documentary.
    “We didn’t know a lot of kids, like, our age,” Paris said of her father’s attempt to keep their childhood very private. “We were more secluded. We never really left the ranch that often.” Jackson’s only daughter also says, “He promised me he would teach me how to moonwalk. He never got around to it.”
    Meanwhile, 11-year-old Blanket speaks for the first time, sharing his aspirations and goals for the future.
    “I’m going to try to help, like, Africa, because that’s a very poor continent,” Blanket says. “There’s a lot of animals that are being killed from, like, poachers and stuff. So, I want to help, like, endangered species of animals.”

    The documentary can be viewed online at for a $10 fee.
    “[Katherine] really wanted to fund this without asking any of the people around her, including the Michael Jackson estate, for funding,” Kirk Schenck, producer of “Remembering Michael,” told ABC News.
    “He wanted us to always…be greater at it than anybody else had ever been,” Prince said.
    The film project has a fundraising goal of $3.2 million. “I’m inviting all of Michael’s fans to join me, Prince, Paris and Blanket to finish this wonderful project. Please join us,” Katherine says. “I’d love to have you.”

    What do I think about it? First of all I think it is perfectly ligit – why should it be illegitimate?

    Second, I suspect that Katherine and the children are doing it to cover the costs on the AEG trial and the fact that the children are ready to contribute to it is great in my opinion. They are still very young but they are fighting like some adults don’t. I find it awesome.

    And third, I am always happy to see Michael’s children and am supportive of all Katherine Jackson’s actions. I trust her judgment very much indeed.


  29. Susanne permalink
    December 20, 2013 5:50 pm

    Treece, according to TMZ LIVE it’s not ligit. They haven’t asked the Estate for permission and the Estate will never allow it. The fans and the children are being used according to TMZ.Michael would never have wanted this according to his will. The money will not go to his children. And Michael didn’t want his family to have a cent accept for his children. And even if the project never happens, they are allowed to keep the fans money. A link to TMZ LIVE where they are having the above discussion.


  30. Sina permalink
    December 20, 2013 7:12 pm

    “It was ONLY due to stress that MJ completely lost the ability to sleep naturally in May-June 2009” – Helena

    Exactly , and a competent doctor would treat not the symptoms but the cause and would have his patients back.

    “‘Now there was no other way out for him but Propofol.’-

    Yes there was. Stop the shows and work on the other projects .
    Without one single show AEG got their money back AND made a profit .
    So it could be done. But Michael had none of the decisionmakers in his corner to get him out .


  31. December 20, 2013 7:20 pm

    Thank you Helen for HOURS upon HOURS of research then compiling here for our benefit. Thank you is just not adequate enough. Lv you very much Sis. Thank God Michael has loyal LOVING fans like you defending him, that are genuine.


  32. December 20, 2013 7:31 pm

    Helen in response to “Remembering Michael” documentary

    The parts the children recorded are at least three yrs old, Howard Mann owns all the recording, will take 80% of anything made. He is a no good crook, owes the estate millions, is exploiting KJ and PPB. And is trying to sell copyright materials AGAIN. Thts why the video has been blocked in most countries, probably by the estate. This doc will NEVER be released and anyone that gives money will never see a refund.

    The AEG case was on contingency. no win no pay. There are hundreds thousands cases of this type each year. And of Panish wins he takes 45% of the winnings. So KJ does not owe anything to Panish for the case… BTW there is a hearing on Jan 3rd for retrial. will keep you updated


  33. December 21, 2013 12:47 am

    “Treece, according to TMZ LIVE it’s not ligit. They haven’t asked the Estate for permission and the Estate will never allow it. The fans and the children are being used according to TMZ.” – Susanne

    Susanne (not our Susannerb), since when has the opinion of TMZ become a guiding light for MJ’s fans? Or at least of any value at all?

    And I did look up the link you provided – I don’t see any materials about this case at all there. Just some usual garbage from TMZ – someone’s divorce, someone’s drinking problem, “that’s not my naked body for sale” – goodness gracious, with so much real news around us what are these people writing about!


  34. December 21, 2013 12:57 am

    ‘Now there was no other way out for him but Propofol.’- Helena
    ‘Yes there was. Stop the shows and work on the other projects . Without one single show AEG got their money back AND made a profit.” – Sina

    No, this wasn’t a way-out because of the Promissory note Michael signed in January 2009. Under this note he received $6,2 mln out of which $3mln immediately went away to settle the lawsuit from the Prince of Bahrain.

    In case Michael cancelled the agreement with AEG and didn’t return the whole sum within 5 business days AEG was becoming his attorney-in-fact and the first thing they were to get was the Michael Jackson Company LLC. Since it didn’t have enough assets to cover those millions they were to lay their hands on everything else. Even bankrupcy wasn’t saving him as all terms of the Promissory note were still standing (it was specifically mentioned there).

    This is what I wrote about it long time ago:

    “Out of the many points specified in the Promissory Note the major one is that if it came to the worst AEG was to become an attorney-in fact for Michael Jackson’s company with “full authority” to take any action – up to “filing financial statements relative to the Collateral without the signature of the Holder” (Michael Jackson).

    What we see here is the full Power of Attorney provided to AEG. It could enable them to act not only on behalf of MJ Company LLC, but according to the contract (remember its “miscelleneous” clause?) represent him where the Artist had “an interest in” as an individual. And this could include other Michael Jackson’s assets, probably even his ATV catalog…”

    For more details here:


  35. December 21, 2013 1:18 am

    “The parts the children recorded are at least three yrs old, Howard Mann owns all the recording, will take 80% of anything made. He is a no good crook, owes the estate millions, is exploiting KJ and PPB. And is trying to sell copyright materials AGAIN. Thts why the video has been blocked in most countries, probably by the estate. This doc will NEVER be released and anyone that gives money will never see a refund.” – Teammichaeljackson

    Oh, if it is Howard Mann standing behind the video and if the money goes to him, then of course it is a fraud. But if the money goes to Katherine Jackson then I don’t object. I didn’t do the reseach of this matter myself so really don’t know. TMZ and the rest of them presented it as Katherine’s project. This is an umpteenth reason never to believe them.

    “The AEG case was on contingency. no win no pay. There are hundreds thousands cases of this type each year. And of Panish wins he takes 45% of the winnings. So KJ does not owe anything to Panish for the case… “

    Over here I did do research and disagree. Wrongful death cases are indeed free for the Plaintiff but only partially. The attorneys do not charge money for their services but all experts are to be paid for by the Plaintiff.

    Moreover if the case is lost the other side may demand that their expenses on the case are covered by the Plaintiff – and AEG did demand it!

    So Katherine’s expenses are made up of the money spent on their expert witnesses and the need to pay AEG’s expenses too. As to Panish – you are right, he didn’t charge Katherine for the services of his company.


  36. Treece permalink
    December 21, 2013 2:36 pm

    Thanks Helena and TeamMichaelJackson and everyone else for your answers and insight! I noticed that FundAnything campaign page has been removed for the “Remembering Michael” project. So, to me, that is a great indicator that the campaign was not legit. I also saw somewhere else where it was stated that Howard Mann is actually behind the crowdfunding campaign, which is reason number two it is probably completely not legit.

    Sometimes TMZ can be right, they just like to sensationalize everything. Wasn’t it TMZ that first reported MJ’s death? Either way, I think the Jackson family and Estate needs to make an official statement on the legitimacy or lack thereof of this film and campaign, and also sue anyone (i.e. Howard Mann) who tries to hawk it as legit if it is not. I’m glad I didn’t send any money to that crowdfunding campaign yet – i almost did, as i get happy to see anything that celebrates MJ’s life. But now I’m convinced it’s a sham of a scam.


  37. Susanne permalink
    December 21, 2013 3:51 pm

    Susanne (not our Susannerb), since when has the opinion of TMZ become a guiding light for MJ’s fans? Or at least at any value at all? Vinicatemj(Helena)

    Lol, that made me laugh. And you’re absolutely right about that I guess.

    But Harvey on TMZ has worked as a lawyer in the past. So when he says that the project isn’t legit I tend to believe him.

    And TMZ was the only media source who had brought up the subject at the time.

    (What divorce? Did you click on the TMZ LIVE video?)

    I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.


  38. December 21, 2013 5:05 pm

    “And TMZ was the only media source who had brought up the subject at the time.” Susanne

    We don’t base our research on tabloids, and I don’t think that’s funny.
    This FundAnything campaign was accompanied by rumors, allegations and opinions from the beginning and to this minute no one knows exactly the background of it. It seems true that Howard Mann had been involved, which is indeed suspicious, but as long as we have no official statement from Katherine Jackson we shouldn’t speculate about her involvement, form an opinion and comment everywhere excessively, and especially not use tabloid reports to back up our opinions.


  39. December 22, 2013 4:07 am

    I would like to add the link to Raven’s new post on this controversy:

    I wholeheartedly agree with her that fans made a mountain out of a molehill of this campaign when there are much more important battles to fight. Fans tend to hyperventilate on social media about every minor issue between the Jackson family and the Estate when they even don’t know the details and backgrounds.
    I never saw this kind of overwhelming reaction of fans for example to the sensational affidavits of the 4 jurors of the AEG case.


  40. December 22, 2013 6:42 am

    Hi Helena and all MJ fans and activists! Here’s wishing you and your families a very Blessed Christmas! Thanks Helena for all your hard work that you put in. Sending you my warm regards and a big hug! Helena, could we send you Christmas gifts/ flowers as a token of our thanks for all that you on this blog? Thanks everyone for being there for Michael.


  41. December 22, 2013 10:22 am

    Murray disregarded ALL proper rules for medical conduct and he did that voluntarily.That is why the verdict has to be changed to voluntary manslaughter. Presently he is still engaded in this by breaking the doctor-patient confidentiality.The verdict needs to be changed because of this.


  42. December 22, 2013 10:57 am

    You all remember Thalidomide and those babies, now grown up, born without arms and limbs?Thalidomide was banned of course. It was initially considered a mild sedative and given pregnant women.It is now put to good use again. The first agent therapeutic for Hansen´s disease,formerly considered leprosy. This shows that all legit. meds have to undergo rigid testing often lasting years before they are allowed on the market.


  43. December 22, 2013 12:33 pm

    Another dip into the history of medicine.. Queen Victoria was given chloroform to relieve the pain of childbirth.A compassionate woman as she was she felt ordinary English women should be given this relief too, which was indeed done for some time.Until it was noticed that the death rate was increasing.
    Pharmacology is a complex science with both positive annegative surprises. Chloroform was an early anaestetic no longer used.


  44. December 22, 2013 12:50 pm

    “Thalidomide was initially considered a mild sedative and given pregnant women.It is now put to good use again. The first agent therapeutic for Hanse´s disease, formerly considered leprosy.” – rkatarina

    rkatarina, this is another example of a medication developed for one thing (where it did huge damage) and now put to a different use and becoming suddenly helpful – who could imagine that a drug for “mild sedation” could treat leprosy? Incredible.

    Propofol is not damaging at all and is a very safe drug in capable hands. What if it its small doses can indeed help to restore natural sleep and future science will prove it? The first studies are already encouraging.


  45. December 22, 2013 1:15 pm

    “Hi Helena and all MJ fans and activists! Here’s wishing you and your families a very Blessed Christmas! Thanks Helena for all your hard work that you put in. Sending you my warm regards and a big hug! Helena, could we send you Christmas gifts/ flowers as a token of our thanks for all that you on this blog? Thanks everyone for being there for Michael.” – Suparna

    Suparna, thank you very much for coming here and trying to reach for the truth together with me. I’m wishing you and everyone a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year too!

    And thank you for your offer to send me flowers. They will surely never make it here as it is too far away (Russia) but your very offer is so wonderful that it makes me feel as if I’ve already received them.


  46. December 22, 2013 1:44 pm

    “I would like to add the link to Raven’s new post on this controversy: I wholeheartedly agree with her that fans made a mountain out of a molehill of this campaign when there are much more important battles to fight.”- Susannerb

    Susannerb, I absolutely agree too. In fact I am so focused on other things which I regard as much more important that I cannot even understand what all the fuss is about. Raven worded it perfectly. Just a short excerpt:

    …everyone who ever worked with Michael, or was friends with him, can release a documentary and talk about him, but let it be his own mother and kids and all hell breaks loose. Hmmm. I really have to ask, why is that?

    So my first thought when I heard about this was: So what? Let those who want to donate, donate. And if you don’t want to support it, then don’t. Should be simple enough.

    This whole thing has really reminded me of why I choose not to get involved or to take a position on every controversy that erupts in the never-ending estate vs. Sony vs. Jackson family drama. Some things are worth my time and energy and some things simply aren’t.

    I want to state right here, for the record, that I love and admire the pro-active stance of Michael Jackson fans. We have done a lot of good work over the past four years, and have accomplished many worthwhile goals because of that pro-active stance. There is still much work to be done. And there are still plenty of good and worthy battles to engage in. When we can unite, we are a force to be reckoned with.

    But you all will have to excuse me if this one just seems a bit of a mountain out of a molehill. Or in other words, sometimes it’s good to know when to raise the voice of dissension and protest.

    And when to just take a chill pill and let things be.

    I have no more use for Howard Mann than I can throw him (and that probably wouldn’t be very far!). But I’m also not going to join the bash fest of Michael’s mother and kids over this, sorry.

    Like I said, there’s a time to fight and a time to chill.

    A documentary-cheaply made or otherwise- of Michael’s mother and kids sharing a few pleasant memories just seems the least of my worries.


  47. December 22, 2013 2:00 pm

    “But Harvey on TMZ has worked as a lawyer in the past. So when he says that the project isn’t legit I tend to believe him. And TMZ was the only media source who had brought up the subject at the time.” – Susanne

    Oh, when it comes to lawyers and journalists the reputation is everything. Nancy Grace is also a lawyer and even a former prosecutor, but her views and journalistic performance are such that even the very polite Thomas Mesereau called her Nancy Disgrace.

    TMZ is indeed often one of the first to report some news but their interpretation is always so garbage-like that it is better not to know.


  48. December 22, 2013 2:22 pm

    “I noticed that FundAnything campaign page has been removed for the “Remembering Michael” project. So, to me, that is a great indicator that the campaign was not legit.” – Treece

    Or an indicator that the money was not to go to Katherine but to scammers like Howard Mann. However it was for Katherine I wouldn’t mind sending a small contribution to her. If it was Katherine’s project it was to cover the expenses on the AEG trial and collecting money for a possible retrial.

    AEG demanded that she should pay them $1,2mln in costs:

    Katherine Jackson wants another shot at AEG lawsuit; gives ‘notice of intent’ for new trial
    The Jackson matriarch is seeking another trial in the case against AEG Live over the death of Michael Jackson, citing possibe jury misconduct, her lawyer said.


    Jackson seeks another trial against concert giant AEG Live over her son Michael’s 2009 death. Katherine Jackson claims the company failed to properly investigate the doctor who was convicted in 2011 of involuntary manslaughter for the singer’s death, but the company denies all wrongdoing.
    Michael Jackson’s mother wants another crack at concert promoter AEG Live.
    Katherine Jackson filed paperwork on Monday to provide her “notice of intent” to ask for a new trial in the wrongful death case she lost in October.
    Her lawyers cited possible jury misconduct and newly discovered evidence in the short filing.
    “(Asking for a) new trial is the first step before appeal,” Katherine’s lawyer Brian Panish told the Daily News in a text Tuesday.

    Jackson died in 2009. The pop icon’s family has been in a feud with concert promoter AEG Live over who is responsible for Jackson’s death.

    The legal maneuvering came as lawyers for AEG Live filed their own papers demanding that Katherine’s side pay $1.2 million in costs since they brought the jury rejected her request for upwards of $1 billion in damages following a costly five month trial.

    “It is tragic that plaintiffs refuse to accept the jury’s verdict and move on from this baseless lawsuit,” AEG Live’s lawyer Marvin Putnam said in a statement to the Daily News. “As the world knows, Michael Jackson provided handsomely for his children and his mother in his will. Clearly this lawsuit was not originally brought-nor is it now being done-to meet their needs. It is time to let these children move on from this tragedy so they can properly recover from the loss of their father.”

    Another of Katherine’s lawyers disputed that statement. The Jackson family considers AEG Live responsible for hiring Dr. Conrad Murray, who cared for Jackson and provided him with drugs, in the months leading up to his death.

    “I can confirm that a multibillionaire and his corporations are demanding that the Jackson children pay them $1.2 million dollars. Happy holidays, each and every one,” Kevin Boyle said in a statement to The News Tuesday.”

    But Putnam said the King of Pop was responsible for his own health and “demanded” that his personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, join him on his ill-fated “This Is It” tour.Jackson even demanded the drug that killed him-a drug he had abused for decades,” Putnam said Tuesday, referring to the surgery-strength anesthetic propofol.

    “Jackson ignored several doctors who told him taking propofol for sleep could kill him. AEG Live had absolutely no knowledge of what Jackson was doing in his bedroom at night with his personal physician. And as the jury found, AEG Live could in no way be held responsible for Mr. Jackson’s death.”

    Murray, 60, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in 2011 and walked out of jail in October after finishing a four year prison sentence in two years due to jail overcrowding.

    He said a retrial would be a waste of time and money.
    “Taxpayers have already spent a fortune paying for the judicial resources for a five month jury trial so that Katherine Jackson could bring this lawsuit and try to get more money,” Putnam said.
    “The jury has spoken. And the jury got it right. AEG Live is confident that the Court will reject plaintiffs’ attempt to start all over again.”

    But though Katherine Jackson is well provided for SHE DOES NOT HAVE THIS $1,2 MLN TO PAY TO AEG!

    This video could easily be an attempt to raise the money necessary for it. And the present campaign against Katherine and the kids may be as easily instigated by the company which hates Katherine more than anyone else in their life. And MJ’s fans are again easily falling into this trap – just as usual.

    By the way TMZ is a very reliable partner of this very company which hates Katherine so much.


  49. December 22, 2013 2:41 pm

    “I never saw this kind of overwhelming reaction of fans for example to the sensational affidavits of the 4 jurors of the AEG case.” – Susannerb

    Susannerb, a great observation. There was no overwhelming reaction because the affidavits were not to the liking of AEG propagandists working with the fanbase. As usual all attention was channeled into some petty matter while the fundamental one stayed in the shade.

    I was extremely busy myself and didn’t talk of the affidavits either (very sorry about it), and though Murray’s subject is not yet over I still want to post the declarations of these four jurors as an absolutely great example of honesty, responsibility and courage some people are capable of.

    What they have done is inspiring great respect for these people. They are absolutely not sure what will come of it, but their conscience does not allow them to keep silent and makes them speak the truth. These people are heroes.


  50. 29mj permalink
    December 22, 2013 2:59 pm

    Thank you so much dear ♥ Helena wholeheartedly for your tremendous hard work that you do with such passion of true love with a conscience for honestly love, gratitude that we all owe to Michael JJ. Brightness star’s Christmas to illuminate your hearts entire MJJ’s family and inside your souls to be reflected the warm light of candles!
    Helena, wholeheartedly with ♥ I want to wish you and your family Merry Christmas! I wish to have happy days with full health, happiness and fulfillment of all your desires, fulfilled of pure Michael’s Love ! ♥
    Helena, we all to owe you Love, Respect, Gratitude! All for and from LOVE! <3xxx
    Truly appreciaton with ♥, Barbra
    Same wishes for ALL Michael's lovers as well as for ALL of you people who go everywhere, on there where Is Our ♥ Most Treasured Michael Joe Jackson – AMAZINGLY THE KING OF POP, KING OF pure Souls!
    I wish Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas to all our giant family ♥ MJ, to all workers of everywhere by MJJ's legacy and truth! ♥ ♥ ♥


  51. December 22, 2013 4:32 pm

    Thank you, Barbra! Merry Christmas to you and all those who were embraced by Michael’s love!
    Now love for each other from various corners of the world is no longer an abstract word for us but something we can really feel.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. December 23, 2013 1:33 am

    Hi Helena,

    It is an absolute honour and a great pleasure to be here with you, and try and unravel deeper truths about Michael that keep revealing the beauty of his soul all the more! Thank you so much for having me here. I am truly privileged. And see we can indeed send fresh flowers to you from any corner of the world 🙂 🙂


  53. December 23, 2013 2:20 am

    So Helena, can we please send you some flowers? Or may be you will prefer these lovely items on Michael made my the wonderful Michael Jackson Legacy org, the proceeds of which go towards various charitable causes that were so close to Michael’s heart. Have a look for yourself and do let us know 🙂!/~/category/id=4395632&offset=0&sort=normal


  54. December 23, 2013 4:43 am

    Friends, I would like to remind us that yesterday it was 20 years ago when Michael made his personal statement on TV regarding the Chandler allegations. This week it’s 20 years ago that Sneddon forced this dehumanizing strip search on Michael and finally this year 20 years ago changed Michael’s life forever. With all what happens still today to Michael and his reputation, we must remember how this humiliation started and what happened since then. We should never forget that.
    When we are celebrating Christmas this year we should remember what a horror Christmas must have been for Michael 20 years ago.

    I wish everybody Merry Christmas, having peaceful holidays and being thankful for every positive thing that happened to us this year.


  55. December 23, 2013 2:32 pm

    “Friends, I would like to remind us that yesterday it was 20 years ago when Michael made his personal statement on TV regarding the Chandler allegations. This week it’s 20 years ago that Sneddon forced this dehumanizing strip search on Michael and finally this year 20 years ago changed Michael’s life forever. With all what happens still today to Michael and his reputation, we must remember how this humiliation started and what happened since then. We should never forget that.” – Susannerb

    Susannerb, you are right – these days it is indeed 20 years since this nightmare started and is still going on. What a sad anniversary.

    Here is Michael’s statement made on December 22, 1993. He is nearly crying after the unimaginable humiliation of it.

    When we listen to him now it especially strikes you that he is telling everything as it is without hiding anything at all. Everything is here – a burn and how his dependence on painkillers started, the “recent reconstructive surgery on his scalp” indeed finished only in August 1993, his rehabilitation program abroad and even the graphic details of the horrendous strip search. Only now we can appreciate how incredibly truthful Michael is in his statement.

    It was with this degree of sincerity that he was always addressing people and what did he get in return?

    December 22, 1993 at 3:00 P.M. EST:

    “Good afternoon. To all my friends and fans, I wish to convey my deepest gratitude for your love and support. I am doing well and I am strong.

    As you may already know, after my tour ended I remained out of the country undergoing treatment for a dependency on pain medication. This medication was initially prescribed to soothe the excruciating pain that I was suffering after recent reconstructive surgery on my scalp.

    There have been many disgusting statements made recently concerning allegations of improper conduct on my part. These statements about me are totally false. As I have maintained from the very beginning I am hoping for a speedy end to this horrifying horrifying experience to which I have been subjected.

    I shall not in this statement respond to all the false allegations being made against me, since my lawyers have advised me that this is not the proper forum in which to do that. I will say I am particularly upset by the handling of this mass matter by the incredible, terrible mass media. At every opportunity, the media has dissected and manipulated these allegations to reach their own conclusions. I ask all of you to wait to hear the truth before you label or condemn me. Don’t treat me like a criminal, because I am innocent.

    I have been forced to submit to a dehumanizing and humiliating examination by the Santa Barbara County Sheriffs Department and the Los Angeles Police Department earlier this week. They served a search warrant on me which allowed them to view and photograph my body, including my penis, my buttocks, my lower torso, thighs, and any other areas that they wanted. They were supposedly looking for any discoloration, spotting blotches or other evidence of a skin color disorder called vitiligo which I have previously spoken about.

    The warrant also directed me to cooperate in any examination of my body by their physician to determine the condition of my skin, including whether I have vitiligo or any other skin disorder. The warrant further stated that I had no right to refuse the examination or photographs and if I failed to cooperate with them they would introduce that refusal at any trial as an indication of my guilt.

    It was the most humiliating ordeal of my life – one that no person should ever have to suffer. And even after experiencing the indignity of this search, the parties involved were still not satisfied and wanted to take even more pictures. It was a nightmare, a horrifying nightmare. But if this is what I have to endure to prove my innocence, my complete innocence, so be it.

    Throughout my life, I have only tried to help thousands upon thousands of children to live happy lives. It brings tears to my eyes when I see any child who suffers.

    If I am guilty of anything it is of believing what God said about children: ‘Suffer little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for such is theKingdom of Heaven.’ In no way do I think that I am God, but I do try to be God-like in my heart.

    I am totally innocent of any wrongdoing and I know these terrible allegations will all be proven false. Again, to my friends and fans, thank you very much for all of your support. Together we will see this through to the very end. I love you very much and may God bless you all I love you. Goodbye.”


  56. December 23, 2013 4:12 pm

    Speaking about that strip search everyone says that Michael never recovered from it and after all that dirt kicked at him was never his old self again:

    02 July 2009

    Michael Jackson was left “broken” by police strip searches.

    The 50-year-old singer – who died of a suspected cardiac arrest last Thursday (25.06.09) – was reportedly “stripped of all his dignity” when officers examined his naked body following allegations of child abuse against 13-year-old Jordy Chandler in 1993.

    Michael’s friend John Randy Taraborrelli – who had known the star for over 40 years – said the 50-year-old singer never recovered from the intimate examination and didn’t want to people to see his scarred body.

    Journalist-and-photographer John said: “He begged police for an hour. Michael had been broken.

    “He came into the living room and clearly agitated and wearing a brown dressing gown. Crying softly, he took it off, stripped of all his dignity.”
    When the child molestation allegations against Jordy were made – for which Michael was never charged – the teenager claimed he could prove the abuse because he had seen the ‘Thriller’ singer’s penis and private area.

    Police reportedly inspected the pop star’s body and made notes on the colour of his bleach-damaged skin, buttocks and genitals.
    John explained: “The boy had given a detailed description of his body and the detectives needed to check if it was true.

    “All eyes peered at him to see if he was circumcised, as Jordy had claimed. He wasn’t. ‘Oh my God,’ Michael whimpered. He looked as if he was about to faint.”

    And here is Frank Cascio about what the Chandlers’ allegations did to Michael:

    AS FAR AS WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH JORDY’S FAMILY, we only talked to Michael about it when he brought it up. When he did speak about it, it was often in a wistful tone, and I could tell that he was still trying to comprehend the fact that this horrible thing had occurred.

    “I did so much for his family,” he’d say.

    I would almost always respond with anger, saying things like “I just don’t understand how he could do such a thing.”

    “You don’t understand,” Michael would reply. “I don’t blame Jordy. It’s not his fault. It’s his father’s fault.”

    Michael forgave Jordy. He knew that a child wouldn’t come at him and ruthlessly attack him of his own volition. He believed it all came from the father. Later, when I was older, Michael would tell me that Jordy’s father had wanted Michael to invest in a film he wanted to make. Michael initially liked the idea, but his advisers were against it. They dismissed Jordy’s father rather thoughtlessly, and Michael, not one for confrontation, blew him off, too. Michael thought that this, more than anything else, had set Evan Chandler off. (The movie Chandler had written, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, was eventually produced and directed by Mel Brooks and came out that same year.)

    …In 1993, on the Dangerous tour, we had distracted Michael by exploring foreign cities, throwing water balloons out of hotel windows, and trashing a hotel room (once, just one time). As adults, we resorted to watching movies and hanging out. We always said, “Let’s sit around and just stink,” and that’s exactly what we did. Although we didn’t say it outright, whatever we did was an effort to demonstrate to Michael that everything was going to be okay.

    Still, as upbeat as we tried to be, it was evident that the weight of these new allegations was oppressive. Michael was mentally and physically drained. He slept a lot. I found myself thinking back to the lessons he had taught me about controlling the outcome of circumstances. I didn’t know if he was visualizing the outcome he wanted in order to make it happen. We weren’t talking that sort of talk. What I did know was that, more than anything I’d been through with him, this would be a test of his will and of his faith in himself.

    … I LIKE TO THINK THAT THE YOUTHFUL DIVERSION Eddie and I offered Michael helped him endure the stresses of his life. I kept him company, and I kept him positive. Yet there were cracks in the facade, moments when his eyes would suddenly darken and he’d seem to drift very far away. I know that the argument for settling out of court with the Chandler family made a certain amount of sense, but I have to say that as incredible a lawyer as Johnnie Cochran was, I don’t think he should have settled that case. Michael was never the same after it. Not fighting for the truth took a heavy toll on him. He was the biggest star in the whole world. The unresolved accusations cast a shadow on his character. They damaged his reputation. They threatened his legacy. And they wounded his soul. From then on, people wouldn’t know what to believe about Michael Jackson. Above all, they challenged his love for children—something that was central to his being—and that hurt far more than the media circus that had been stirred up by the accusations.

    During the Dangerous tour, Michael had made a point of visiting orphanages and children’s hospitals. In every city we visited, we brought toys to these children, and it was clear that Michael wished he could adopt them all. He could not stand to see a child suffer. There were times during those visits when Michael would break down crying because he couldn’t stand seeing a child in pain. He was moved and inspired by the innocence and purity of youth, and always said that of all the creatures in the world, children were closest to God.

    After the purity and genuineness of Michael’s love for children was called into question, he became a different man. Inevitably, his relationships with children changed forever. The days of the innocent freedom with which he’d played with kids were gone for good. In addition, he now saw what a target he had become for people who were looking to exploit his eccentricities for cruel and selfish ends. Family excluded, he stopped hanging out with kids in the same way as he’d done before. It wasn’t worth the risk.

    Beyond this, if I had to sum up the change I saw, I’d say that Michael lost his confidence. Not just in himself—the way he would boldly and without a second thought do whatever he felt like doing, no matter how unconventional or immature it might have seemed— but in others as well. He lost his faith in the fundamental decency of his fellow humans.

    Where once he had seen only the good in people, now he worried about the intentions of those around him. He questioned their motives. He thought everyone around him was trying to take advantage of him, to manipulate him. That hint of paranoia he’d expressed when it came to other people stealing his musical ideas started spreading to other areas of his life.

    Sometimes, even if he encountered someone whose intentions were good and sincere, he’d look for reasons to doubt that person. He created scenarios in his head that didn’t exist in reality as a way of guaranteeing that he would again never be caught off guard.

    (My Friend Michael, by Frank Cascio)


  57. December 24, 2013 12:17 am

    God acts in silent but powerful ways. Evan Chandler did it all for money and with a malicious intent of ruining Michael for life. But karma catches up and there is no escaping from it. We all know that Chandler killed himself in his luxury apartment of Libety View Towers by blowing out his own brains less than five months after Michael’s death. That he underwent several plastic surgeries so that he could not be recognised as the man who had accused Jackson. After casting Michael’s name in shadows and putting him through humiliation and torment- which no words can describe, what did Evan Chandler gain? The settlement money of course. But in return he lost his inner peace and sanity forever. He even ruined his son’s life as well for good. Chandler wrote this evil screenplay and did not hesitate to involve his son not thinking twice how that would affect the boy in future. Jordan seems to be living in anonymity. Thus Evan ruined three lives- including his own. He destroyed his own brain that had concocted the evil plan of framing Michael. I just read some comments made by American artist Carrie Fisher on Wikipedia about Evan, who was her dentist. She has written about him in her book Shockaholic. From wikipedia : “ In the late 1980s, addict Fisher would get unnecessary dental surgery just to obtain morphine from him. Fisher claimed Chandler could be persuaded via financial incentives or “favors” to come to a patient’s house to administer the drug. His license plate read “SLEEP MD”. Fisher relates, in the book/audiobook, to Chandler as “strange”, referring to him as “this freak”, relating Chandler saying to her in the privacy of a dental visit, “My son is VERY (unsettling smile, raised eyebrows, maybe even a lewd wink) good looking…It was grotesque. This man was letting me know that he had this valuable thing that Michael Jackson “wanted””, and later, reversing this line of thought to Fisher when he told her he was bringing the 1993 allegations against Jackson, was “shocked with moral indignation”. Fisher then states, “This was the time I knew I had to find another dentist. No drug can hide the feeling of one’s skin crawling… “ May be Jordan Chandler would speak out someday to silence the media for good. Amen to that.


  58. December 24, 2013 12:29 am

    And thousands continue to pray and shed tears for Michael. Michael’s songs are continued to be heard on radios, at discoes and parties. His genius lives on forever. Evan Chandler failed in his intentions after everything as in life screenplays are written by the divine.


  59. Meap permalink
    December 29, 2013 2:11 am

    Murray claimed that MIchael called Propofol milk. In his police interview, Murray is the one who calls it milk all the time. I don’t believe a word of what the man says. He know full well that he committed a crime and he’s spending all his days now trying to cover it up. Just going to jail for a few years is no punishment for the terrible thing that he did. I cannot imagine how Michael Jackson could have trusted this man. He oozes lies. The way he speaks, the guilty flickering of his eyes, his oily voice…all are utterly sickening to witness. I doubt his stories of deep and close friendship with Michael; I believe that it is just the fantasy of a sick mind desperate to buy forgiveness. And there is no doubt in my mind about AEG’s complicity in the negligence of Michael. They were only looking at the money. They chose to create an extremely high pressure environment so that they could control Michael and bend him to their greed. Each one operated on the principal of diminished responsibility and now have passed the blame for their actions on to Michael who is not here to defend himself.


  60. Michael Moore permalink
    January 1, 2014 4:42 pm

    The sad and interesting thing about Versed is that Christopher Reeve was given it after his accident to help reduce potential inflammation and swelling, and he credited it with helping ensure the damage to his spinal cord didn’t progress any further. Maybe it might have had an adverse reaction with his body too?


  61. Christy permalink
    January 9, 2014 9:24 pm

    Murray’s arrogance makes me think there is more to why he came up with this treatment than just being incompetent..


  62. 29mj permalink
    February 8, 2014 4:34 pm

    Dear Helena,
    For me I love you! is a great word and do not use accidental, only when I feel it gives me the creeps, exactly when I feel this feeling uplifting. Just like Michael! (8/29 – is our common dots). Indeed, nothing is really happening in this life and I think even beyond! Deepest appreciation to you and the giant man Michael! LOVE


  63. February 9, 2014 8:33 am

    Crysty;my thoughts have been on that line too: In his treatment with Michael he showed skills;or rather lacking them that a GP would not.And in his clinics he nust have been familiar
    with the meds he gave Michael:My impression isgiven byhiself or anestetist: that doing stents he used coscious sedation;come so little is known of his past:,professional and otherwise.


  64. Roger permalink
    February 13, 2014 10:42 pm

    Found in Wikipedia…’In the Netherlands, midazolam is a List II drug of the Opium Law. Midazolam is a Schedule IV drug under the Convention on Psychotropic Substances.[69] In the United Kingdom, midazolam is a Class C controlled drug.[70] In the United States, midazolam (DEA number 2884) is on the Schedule IV list of the Controlled Substances Act as a non-narcotic agent with low potential for abuse.[71]’…also it’s use can be a cause (more in combination with Opiates) of Apnea which can you sufficate. To me it seem to be in the wrong list in the US and is more dangerous to be indicated, especialy in combination with some other drugs.


  65. J5master permalink
    August 2, 2014 1:58 am

    This is my first time reading this and – omg did this send a chill down my spine. Suddenly Murray isn’t just an incompetent doctor, but extremely sinister! The idea that Murray was giving him a drug that would do THAT to MJ…and then the fact that he conveniently (‘accidentally’) recorded MJ while he was drugged, and KEPT the file…its unnerving. Really, really unnerving.



  1. The”55 minutes …” – Part 4 – The scenario | Nonlocal Universe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: