Jordan Chandler’s suicide note. WHOSE SUICIDE WAS IT?
Some readers’ comments on posts in this blog are so profound that they need to be singled out into separate articles, and this is what I decided to do with the comments about the drawing known to us as a “suicide note” of Jordan Chandler.
Initially it was meant to be a mere summary, but in the progress of it some new facts presented themselves and this eventually turned this post into a new big version of what happened in the 1993 case at all.
Jordan Chandler’s drawing is found in the book by Victor Gutierrez. The book was published in the US in 1996 under a flashy but false title “MJ was my lover”. Those who know the author from reading his book or from information about him attending a NAMBLA conference in a capacity we can only guess of, will wince at the mere mentioning of his name.
But on the other hand when writing his book Gutierrez worked in very close collaboration with Evan Chandler, so the general outline of the events described there may be quite correct. It is their interpretation which will be terribly distorted as the story is being told by Michael’s worst detractors with the additional twist added to them by a suspect boylover Victor Gutierrez.
So if the general outline of the events is more or less true, Jordan’s drawing depicting someone falling off the roof of a high building may turn into an interesting document for us.
Initially almost none of us disputed Gutierrez’s interpretation of the picture which claimed that it was Jordan’s suicide note in which he was warning his father against exerting more pressure on him or otherwise he would kill himself.
VERSION 1. It is Jordan’s threat to commit suicide
Victor Gutierrez says that Jordan made this drawing the evening of the day when he and his father met Michael Jackson and Anthony Pellicano on August 4, 1993.
The meeting was opened by Evan with the money thing – he thought that a tentative agreement had already been reached between his lawyer Barry Rothman and Michael’s investigator Pellicano.
But to his big surprise Pellicano did not confirm any such agreement. When Evan realized that Jackson was absolutely “not eager to negotiate” he flew into a rage, shoved in Michael’s face the hypothetical psychiatric opinion of the case and left him and Pellicano in great fury closing his speech with a threat “I’ll see you in court”.
Gutierrez claims that after that notable meeting Jordan was so depressed that he drew a picture of himself jumping off the roof of a five-storey building and landing in a pool of blood on the ground.
Let us read Gutierrez’s text trying to distance ourselves from his pedophile-like interpretations and not paying too much attention to expressions like the “look of an assassin” attributed to no other but Michael Jackson.
Considering Gutierrez’s own inclinations his account naturally starts with a tender scene between Jordan and Michael Jackson meeting each other:
The meeting would be on Wednesday, August 4, at the Westwood Marquis Hotel.
Upon arriving to the hotel, Jordie calmly walked in, but when he saw Jackson, he jumped into his arms as they both hugged and kissed each other on the cheeks. Jordie rested his head on Jackson’s chest. Jackson stroked his hair and asked him:
“Are you okay, Jordie?”
“Yes, but I miss you!” responded the boy. The pleasantries ended when Evan told Jordie to sit down next to him. He opened the conversation by asking Jackson about the offer he had made to Rothman. Pellicano surprised Evan by immediately denying that he had spoken to Rothman about an offer. Evan looked at Jackson and said, “You’re the only one who can help me!” referring to his Hollywood dreams. But Pellicano again denied making any offer.
Evan briefly turned to Pellicano, and snapped: “Okay, then are you telling me that my attorney is a liar, or is there some kind of misunderstanding here?”
Before Pellicano could say a word, Evan returned to Jackson, and showed him a copy of the psychiatric report on his son, and added:
“I know what you have done to Jordie!”
Evan looked at his son for confirmation. Jordie nodded his head as if to tell Jackson that his father already knew their secret. Jackson looked Jordie in the eyes, smiled and shook his head. “It was a cold smile, without feeling,” Evan said. “It was a look of an assassin declaring their innocence in spite of a mountain of evidence. It was then when I realized that Michael Jackson had not only sexually abused my son, but that he was also a criminal.”
…. Evan and Jordie went to Rothman’s office to tell him about the outcome of the meeting. Evan told Rothman that Pellicano had reneged on the offer. This angered Rothman, who said “These people are incredible! They don’t keep their word. They lie. How can we negotiate with them?” Evan and Rothman thought that they would have to file a lawsuit against Jackson. Jordie was fearful and depressed about what had occurred at the meeting with Jackson, and about his father’s consideration of filing documents with the court.
The idea that he would have to testify in court against his “first love” depressed him so much that, before going to bed that night, he drew a picture of a boy jumping off of a building and another person yelling at him to stop from behind. The drawing also showed a figure on the pavement covered with blood. This was a message. It was a suicide note. Evan found the paper the next morning. When he saw the drawing, he wrote on it the sentence “Don’t let this happen!”
He thought that the reason for the suicide note was that Jordie had been sexually abused by Jackson. The drawing appears exclusively in this book. Jordie’s reason for suicide was not because he felt shame for his sexual acts with Jackson. He was depressed because his father had promised him that nobody would know. Now his own father was negotiating and planning to go to court to tell all. His father had betrayed him. He also understood that his relationship with Jackson would never be the same. At night, he had nightmares that he wouldn’t see Jackson. During the day, he took long naps, barely ate, and did not want to speak to anyone.”
(Copyright © 1995 by Victor M. Gutierrez Prieto, 1st Edition: March 1996).
Gutierrez’ interpretation is primitive, exaggerated and very specific in its tone, but in 1996 when the book was published and not yet banned in the US due to its pornographic contents, the public, media and police chose to fall for the story.
Later on the whole thing was also plagiarized by Randy Taraborrelli who gave it the widest possible publicity by repeating it in at least three new revisions of his 1991 book (in 2003, 2004 and 2009). Gutierrez’s story must have been included into the 2003 version already and stayed there until 2009 from where I am quoting it now.
Essentially it is the same Gutierrez’s story up to the “cold smile of a criminal” that Evan Chandler allegedly saw on Michael’s face:
“‘Michael responded with a cold, mocking smile that you often see on the face of criminals who proclaim their innocence even in the face of irrefutable proof of their guilt,’ Evan wrote. ‘It was a chilling sight. He showed no sign of remorse for his actions and he was completely indifferent to Jordie’s suffering.’”
…After his father’s show-down with Michael, Jordie was more depressed than ever before in his young life. The thought that he might now have to testify against Michael was more than he could bear. Before he went to bed, he drew what looked like suicide art: a stick figure jumping off the roof of a five-storey building, and then landing in a bloody heap on the ground.
The next morning, when Evan went into Jordie’s room to say goodbye to him before going to work, he found the chilling drawing on the floor. Jordie was still asleep. Evan wrote on the top of the paper: Don’t Let This Happen, underlining each word. He then put the drawing back where he found it. Turning to leave he changed his mind and decided to take the drawing. It would become evidence of Jordie’s state of mind.” (Copyright 2003, by Randy Taraborrelli)
Let us single out of this chilling narration the two points we need for our future analysis – they will be the focal points we’ll look for in all the other texts:
- the “suicidal” character of the drawing
- the claim that it was made by Jordan at home and on the same day as the August 4th meeting
A slightly different story is told by Ray Chandler in his book “All that glitters” published a year after Taraborrelli’s 2003 version (in September 2004). The differences are minimal and may be easily overlooked, however there are some and this is where the devil is hiding. Ray Chandler also describes the August 4th meeting at Westwood Marquis but does it in somewhat quieter terms.
The first thing we learn from his narration is that there was no tender scene between Michael and Jordan Chandler. The tender scene did take place but it was between Michael and Evan Chandler as the first thing Evan did was come up to Michael and warmly hug him as if he were his best friend:
AUGUST 4 Anthony Pellicano played the gracious host, all smiles as he ushered them in and offered food and drinks from a buffet. Evan exchanged a quid handshake with the man, but Jordie wouldn’t go near him. He remained slightly behind but very close to his father.
Evan then walked over to Michael and embraced the star with a big, happy-to-see-you hug, patting him on the back like an old friend. Jordie wouldn’t go near Michael either. “I was scared of him. I knew my dad was going to say that 1 told him what happened, and I thought Michael would get mad.”
…”So,” Evan began, directing himself to Pellicano, “Barry tells me you have a plan to help Jordie and me reestablish our relationship.”
“I never said that,” Pellicano replied, his voice suddenly taking an aggressive tone.
The harsh response took Evan by surprise. “Well, either you’re telling me Barry’s a liar, or there’s some serious misunderstanding here.”
Evan couldn’t figure it out. Barry had no reason to lie. Pellicano had made an offer and they had come to discuss it. Now he was denying it.
Frustrated by Pellicano’s attitude, and Michael’s apparent condoning it, Evan turned to Michael. “You’re the only one who can help me now,” he said. “I know what you’ve done to Jordie. He told me everything.” Evan then asked his son to confirm that he had, and after the boy nodded affirmatively, Evan waited for Michael’s response.”
The King of Pop leaned in close, looked Jordie squarely in the eye, and calmly said in a little-boy voice, “I didn’t do anything.”
Let me note that in her article “Was Michael Jackson framed?” of October 1994 Mary Fischer quotes Pellicano saying that Jordan was surpised to hear his father’s statements and never nodded to “confirm” them. On the contrary the expression on his face was telling everyone present that he never said it:
“When Chandler got to the parts about child molestation, the boy, says Pellicano, put his head down and then looked up at Jackson with a surprised expression, as if to say “I didn’t say that.” As the meeting broke up, Chandler pointed his finger at Jackson, says Pellicano, and warned “I’m going to ruin you.” At a meeting with Pellicano in Rothman’s office later that evening, Chandler and Rothman made their demand – $20 million.” http://www.usnewslink.com/framedjackson.htm
Maureen Orth in her “Nightmare in Neverland” article published half a year earlier, in January 1994, gives even more details from Pellicano proving the same. Not only Jordan was surprised by his father’s allegations, but Pellicano was stunned to see Evan Chandler’s tender embraces with Michael. He was shorter than Michael and after hugging and kissing him put his head on his chest closing his eyes at that. Pellicano was amazed:
Pellicano’s version of the August 4 meeting differs totally from that of Jamie’s [Jordie’s] side. Pellicano says that as soon as the father and Jamie walked into the room they both hugged Michael.
“He’s shorter than Michael,” Pellicano says of the dentist. “And he’s got his head underneath Michael’s neck, and he kisses Michael, and he’s got his eyes closed.” Pellicano was astounded. “If I believed somebody molested my kid and I got that close to him, I’d be on death row right now.”
But let us return to Ray Chandler’s account of the events as we still need to find out when that drawing was made:
…After the meeting, Evan and Jordie went directly to Barry’s office. Jordie sat in the waiting room, doodling, while the two adults discussed what had transpired at the Westwood Marquis.
…Barry was furious that Pellicano had denied making the offer. “These people are unbelievable!” he exclaimed. “How the hell can we negotiate ; with them?” They talked it over and decided there was no choice but to file for custody.
Just as they reached that conclusion, Pellicano called. He claimed he never denied making the offer and told Barry that Evan was crazy and walked out of the meeting for no reason. Rather than waste time arguing over the phone, Barry invited Pellicano to his office to continue the discussion.
…Evan and Jordie left before Pellicano arrived. When Evan returned the following morning he found Barry “in a state of ecstasy”. Pellicano had responded to the deal by saying he thought it was a great idea and would cheek with the accountants and look over Michael’s development deal with Fox Pictures to see how it could be worked out. ”
Evan accepted Barry’s interpretation at face value, but doubted Pellicano had any intention of going through with the deal. As he left the office he handed Barry the picture Jordie had drawn while “doodling” in Barry’s waiting room the night before. He also gave Barry a letter with instructions on how to proceed.
Jordie’s drawing showed what appeared to be a child jumping off a tall building. Contrary to press reports, the drawing did not represent thoughts of suicide on Jordie’s part, rather his fears of going to court and having to tell the world about his sexual experiences with Michael. Fears he constantly relayed to his father.”
(Ray Chandler, Copyright 2004)
The dictionary explains “doodle” as 1) drawing or scribbling idly 2) wasting (time) in aimless or foolish activity.
So the gist of Ray Chandler’s version is that later in the day of the notable August 4th meeting Evan and Jordan went to Barry Rothman’s office where Jordan was “doodling” (drawing something) while the adults were talking, and the next day when Evan returned to Rothman he handed him the picture made by Jordan in that office the night before.
Isn’t it interesting how the drawing allegedly made at home and at bedtime according to Gutierrez/Taraborrelli suddenly turns into a drawing made in Rothman’s office according to Ray Chandler?
On the other hand what difference does it make? Indeed, this detail may not be that important – except for the conclusion that the above is proof that Taraborrelli was using Gutierrez’s book (and not even Ray Chandler’s, not to mention others), and for this alone we should be grateful to this short piece of information.
Oh my God, Taraborrelli was copying from Gutierrez! And after that he is being quoted all over Wiki as the basic source!
The second idea expressed by Ray Chandler in his book is that Jordan was absolutely not suicidal. Ray Chandler says that the boy was only reflecting on his fears of having to testify in court – since Evan had voiced the idea of taking the case to court only in the morning of the same day, this could indeed be a blow to Jordan and his drawing could be a way of expressing his fears of testifying.
Fears can also be a reason for a suicide, however Ray Chandler clearly says that Jordan was in no mood for it, and this portrays him as someone more calm and controlling his feelings than we previously thought.
This idea is very much different from Gutierrez’s theory, but is surprisingly in line with what we heard from Jordan in his October 6th, 1993 interview with Dr. Richard Gardner. No one can be colder and more detached than this boy, who is supposedly talking about his “abuse”:
– “What about fears? Any fears of any kind?”
– “Sometimes people, after experiences of this kind, develop different kinds of fears. You have no fears?”
– “Maybe of cross-examination but that’s all. I mean I have nothing to hide, it’s just the thought of it.”
Ray Chandler’s words about his nephew and the boy’s own totally emotionless attitude go against Gutierrez’s story which was based on the alleged boy’s deep attachment to MJ. And though the suicide version proper is not yet fully ruled out, it is clear that the “love” reason for it, the one so dear to Gutierrez, is not holding water.
If Jordan was ever suicidal the reason for it must have been totally different. It could have been the pangs of conscience as was my initial version, but since many of us doubted this very much too, at some point a new supposition arose and this supposition said that wasn’t a suicidal note at all.
The first doubts appeared when we noticed the difference in the size of figures on the roof – the one standing at the edge was big and black and looked like an angry adult, while the one standing behind and shouting “no” was much smaller and looked like a child. So can it be that the figure at the edge wasn’t even the boy?
VERSION 2. Jordan is angry with his father who is throwing Michael Jackson from the top of the world
The idea of this interpretation is that the darker figure standing at the edge of the building is the most destructive person in Jordan’s life, and this person is Evan Chandler.
Evan is throwing Michael down from the roof of the building and he lands in the pool of blood (which he really did as a result of that fictional 1993 case).
June Chandler and one of the minors (Lily or Nikkie) are depicted in the lower floors of the building and are therefore playing a secondary role in this situation. All they can do is merely observe the horror scene from a distance as they are unable to influence its outcome in any way at all.
The person standing behind the assassin is his son Jordan who is screaming “No” trying to prevent his father from making the step fatal for Jackson.
By the time this version arose we had already managed to rid ourselves of the spell cast on us by Gutierrez and Taraborrelli, and therefore started regarding this version as the only plausible one.
Indeed it explains and rather convincingly so the disposition of forces on the eve of Evan Chandler’s character assassination of Michael Jackson. The assassination itself was nothing new to us as Evan actually voiced it himself in a telephone conversation with David Schwartz and promised a massacre if Michael Jackson didn’t oblige.
In short the homicide interpretation perfectly fit and answered our questions about the Chandlers … except for a couple of things described by Geraldine Hughes in her “Redemption” book. Over there she tells us of her impression of Jordan Chandler. She saw him in the office of her boss, Barry Rothman who was Evan Chandler’s attorney.
The first thing we need recall about Geraldine Hughes’ description of those events is that she saw Jordan Chandler in their office twice. The first time she accidentally entered her boss’s room and found Jordan sitting there alone with Rothman. She had not noticed him coming in and was startled by his presence in the same way as Jordan was startled by her unexpected entrance there too.
The episode took place before the boy went to psychiatrist Dr. Abrams on August 17, 1993 (the one who later reported things to the authorities). Geraldine Hughes says about it:
I was very surprised to see the boy in Mr. Rothman’s office unaccompanied by a parent. The boy, likewise, was surprised when I opened the door. Mr. Rothman snapped at me for entering unannounced. … The boy had a puzzled look on his face when I walked into Mr. Rothman’s office. … This meeting between Mr. Rothman and the Chandler boy took place just before the boy was taken to see the psychiatrist who later reported the sexual molestation charges against Michael Jackson.
The second time Geraldine saw Jordan was after the allegations against Michael broke loose on August 23, 1993. She was asked to work overtime that day and was typing documents while Jordan was hanging about the office waiting for his father and Rothman to finish their business. Geraldine says that the very idea why they were staying in Barry Rothman’s office was mostly to hide themselves from the media frenzy, in addition to discussing their further strategy of course:
The second time I met the 13-year old boy was after the child molestation allegations hit the media. Dr. Chandler and his son came to our office to hide from the media frenzy that erupted immediately thereafter. No one was prepared for the public’s response to the allegations. Dr. Chandler was afraid to go home because his yard was crawling with news media and the media was desperately trying to find Dr. Chandler and his son, who were both hiding in our office. Mr. Rothman demanded that I work overtime that evening to type some legal documents for them (p.45).
So if Geraldine was present in her office on Wednesday, August 4th but didn’t see Jordan accompanying his father on that day, it means that Jordan did not return to Rothman’s office after their unsuccessful negotiations over money (and went home instead), and came to the lawyer’s office just before and then immediately after the allegations broke out not to stay at home alone when the media began spying on each of his steps.
Given that the allegations broke out in the media on August 23 and this was the only time he was there with his father, Jordan could draw a picture only during his second visit to Rothman’s office. It won’t change much in terms of Ray Chandler’s description of Jordan’s fears – fears were fears no matter when the boy felt them.
However if this was indeed the only day when Jordan was hovering about Rothman’s office Geraldine’s description of the boy will contradict the essence of the drawing he made there – the boy was calm and composed, and much more in control of the situation that his father Evan. Nothing in his composure betrayed any of his fears and concern, at least for Michael Jackson.
In contrast to his son Evan Chandler produced the impression of a “nervous wreck” and it was actually the boy who was soothing him. He looked normal, undisturbed and in no way behaved like an “abused” child.
This is how Geraldine Hughes describes Jordan the second time she saw him:
While Mr. Rothman and Dr. Chandler were secretly hashing out details of their next move in the conference room, the boy kept walking back and forth between the conference room and my desk. I remember that he was amazed at my ability to type over 100 words per minute. He asked me, “how can you type so fast?” He kept staring at my keyboard with amazement. Once, while he was near my desk, I asked him how he was doing. He stated that he was doing fine.
While he was observing me, I too, was observing him. He was playing with some toys while listening to a Walkman radio. He seemed to be enjoying himself. I am not sure if he knew exactly what was going on outside of Mr. Rothman’s office, but at least for the moment he seemed to be having a good time. From all appearances he seemed like a perfectly normal child interested in playing and listening to his music and was curious about everything.
I observed the boy going in and out of the conference room where his father was nervously going round and round with Mr. Rothman. The father was far more nervous than his son. The boy seemed to just stay in his own imaginary world playing, having fun and not seemingly worried about what was going on with the outside world. I understood why Michael Jackson was fond of the boy. He was very fun, loving, warm spirited and cute. I found myself drawn to his warm and loving personality.
He was not your normal bratty kid – he was very kind and had a gentle personality. He did not act or appear as though he had been harmed in any way. He was acting like any normal, well behaved 13-year old child.
Although I do not have enough psychological experience to know how a child would act who had been sexually abused, I can say that there was nothing abnormal about his behavior, personality or attitude. In fact, he was the one who kept calming and consoling his father, who was a nervous wreck. If appeared as if the boy was protecting his father instead of vice versa. He was more concerned about his father’s well-being than his own.
After observing the boy for a number of hours, I could not help but speculate, in my mind, what would cause a child to falsely accuse someone of child abuse? Especially someone he loved and valued as a good friend – especially someone like Michael Jackson! Most kids would give their right arm and leg to be close to the superstar. I could not stop wondering how this boy could be sucked into such as scheme as this. What could make such an innocent child part of such an evil scheme?
It was obvious to me the boy felt a sense of duty towards his father. He kept walking back and forth checking on his father and asking if he was alright. When the father would have a nervous outburst the boy would soothe him and calm him down.
(“Redemption” by Geraldine Hughes, p. 45- 46).
This makes me wonder again. If Ray Chandler and Geraldine Hughes are describing one and the same visit, and it was Evan Chandler (and not his son) who was such a nervous wreck, and Jordan was so composed that even seemed to be “enjoying himself” then why did he make that drawing?
Up till now it has been interpreted by us either as a suicide or a homicide note, which in both cases implies very heavy emotions, but over here the boy seems to be having very little if any at all?
In fact the only feeling Jordan Chandler is expressing here is a huge worry about his father. And this brings us to the third version of the same events.
VERSION 3. Jordan is worried about his father and not Michael
Evan himself could be on the verge of a suicide and Jordan could be screaming “No” to him to stop him from taking the dramatic step. The drawing could be made for Evan’s sake to show him that Jordan cared for him and didn’t want him to die.
This idea was going very well with Evan being a complete nervous wreck and Jordan regularly going into the conference room to soothe and calm him down.
The version was interesting and when Nannoris expressed the same idea I realized that since this theory struck two people on both sides of the ocean and quite independently of each other too, it had the full right to exist and be discussed in full earnest.
Moreover this version looks like it might turn into the best and the most correct one too, since it explains every little detail the other versions are still unable to explain.
First of all it corresponds with the fact that Evan Chandler was much more terrified than Jordan by the situation he himself had initiated. Evan was afraid to go to jail for extorting money from Jackson, especially since he knew full well that an extortion it was.
Evan Chandler was bipolar and what looked like a great prospect when he was in a manic state turned into the worst of his nightmares when the depression stage followed, especially after he finally realized the possible consequences of his plan.
We remember Ray Chandler saying that when the allegations went public Evan was in so hysterical a state that his brother had to drop everything and go and live with him in his house.
The version of Evan being on the verge of a suicide may also explain why he wrote on that note “Don’t let it happen”, meaning not to allow it happen to him (and not to Jordan). It could be an emotional blackmail where the father was saying to his son that everything was in his hands now and if he didn’t want the worst to happen to his father, he should better support him in his version and do his best to save him from jail.
It will explain why Jordan took the side of his father after all. If Evan was openly threatening to kill himself, or if Jordan simply felt that his father was on the verge of a suicide, he could have agreed to say and do whatever his father wanted him to say and do, just in order to prevent the imminent tragedy.
It will explain why Jordan took care of his father even after he had been formally estranged from him and could perfectly well live all alone, but never did. It could probably be a way to keep an eye on his father and monitor the situation further.
It could also explain why Jordan forgave his father even after he had made an attempt on his life and did not insist that criminal charges be brought against the person who actually tried to kill him. Evan was ill and should be excused for everything he was doing.
It can even explain Evan Chandler’s final suicide in 2009. In that year, several months after Michael Jackson’s death Evan Chandler simply did what he had been threatening to do all along since 1993.
This version will explain Jordan’s double refusal to testify against Jackson and why prior to the 2005 trial he said to the investigators that he “had done his part” and if they insisted on his testimony he would sue them. Back in 1993 he was really playing a role and knew perfectly well that all of it was pure invention. The boy could reason that though Michael would have to pay some money eventually the whole thing would be forgotten, while his father would require medical help for the rest of his life and could do with a couple of spare millions – especially if those millions were taken not from Michael’s pocket but from his insurance company (as they really were).
Blood is thicker than water, you know.
And this version fits perfectly well with Jordan’s true feelings about Michael. He did not want anything terrible to happen to him and was genuinely happy when the criminal case against him was closed. Gutierrez describes how “strange” to others Jordan’s reaction looked when he heard the news that the case had been dropped against Jackson – Jordan splashed into a swimming pool in his clothes and said to his brother Nikki that “this was a good day”.
This reaction is indeed so unusual and unexpected that Gutierrez could hardly invent it, so over here I am even ready to believe him:
Soon Jordie would receive some news that would relieve him from some of the pressure of being the boy who changed the life of the King of Pop. A representative from the OA’s office telephoned him, and told him “Michael Jackson will not be prosecuted, but if some day you change your mind and you want to testify against him, the case will be open for another six years.” Upon hanging up the phone, Jordie felt “relief and peace,” according to what he told to his best friend. “No one would speak about it anymore.” Jordie went to the swimming pool at his house where his stepbrother and Nathalie were, and jumped in w ith his clothes on. When his brother asked him if he was crazy, he answered, smiling and hugging him, “You don’t understand, but this is a good day.”
In short the theory that the drawing was inspired by Evan Chandler blackmailing Jordan with his own suicide is not that bad. Not bad at all. I hope you will agree that the above drawing can be interpreted that way. And though we cannot prove that this was really the case it would explain a lot about what was happening in the Chandlers’ camp.